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Weigh In Saturday!!

2010-07-24T10:32:00.002+08:00

Its that day again and I am at 109.00 kg on the dot.

Yesterday went for a movie Inception after work. It was ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY BRILLIANT!

Lady Antebellum - Need You Now

2010-07-17T14:53:00.001+08:00

Picture perfect memories,
Scattered all around the floor.
Reaching for the phone cause, I can't fight it any more.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind.
For me it happens all the time.

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now.
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now.

Another shot of whiskey, can't stop looking at the door.
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind.
For me it happens all the time.

It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk,
And I need you now.
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now.

Yes I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all.
It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now.
And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now.
I just need you now.
Oh baby I need you now.

Plateu Break!

2010-07-17T10:42:00.005+08:00

Hitting it at 113.4kg today. Not much but at least I'm breaking the 115kg mark finally.

So happy! All the little things to celebrate about to keep me motivated!

I am targeting 105kg by end of August. The main plan was hitting 90kg by my 30th birthday. Maybe I won't be able to but not gonna give up just yet. Whatever the weight it will be by that time, I know I've come a long way.

New Layout

2010-07-10T16:01:00.008+08:00

And I love it! I love the background. I love green field against blue sky. It's great that blogger came up with the layout design tool which makes changing the layout so much easier.

In my younger days, I was big on designing my own layout. Usually the whole design will focus on an anime or game character, sometimes on a stalk of flower with a white backdrop. I am much of a minimalist. Then I went computerless for a well five years of my life. I work with one but I don't have one for personal use. The interest and sadly some of the skill is lost. So I am happy that the tool have helped me turn the 'mud' flavour into this new layout :3

I also added my weight tracker and my before and current photo. Mind, I am on a journey still and it's a long way to go. While I am far from thin, I guess my before photo really put things in perspective on my weight loss journey.

I have since lost the kilos gained back in June. So I am focusing on shedding more weight now.

Looking at 130 kg photo, that was taken back on 09/09/2009. I lost 15 kilos since then. I would like to set a target for 09/09/2010, I would like to be 105kg by then. I have 2 months to lose that 10 kilos. I must be focus to achieve it this time.

I think I have been slacking enough. High time to be focus again!

Soondubu jjigae

2010-07-10T13:48:00.001+08:00

I made soondubu jjigae yesterday. Was pretty good attempt but I had no kelp.

7.9 km / 5.9 miles track

2010-07-10T10:12:00.004+08:00

I deleted IMVU from my computer and considering deleting my MSN too if I can. I need to sort out my objective again because I am getting a little vague about why I am trying to lose weight.

I walked 7.9 kilometres today. This is the track, yellow pin is home, then heading west, proceeding southward, detouring to the west again and then northwest. Retraced my step back and then heading east, at UPM, taking the overhead bridge and then walking back northbound, through Veterinary Faculty and then back towards home. Took me 1 hour 45 minutes. I just walked, not powerwalking, just briskly walking. Walking wasn't tiring. Just that one hour into the walk the sun was rising up high and it starts to get warm but I pushed through and got home feeling rather accomplished.

Hope I can do this again tomorrow.

Might go to Floria Putrajaya later if mom not too tired and the day not too hot. We'll see.

Starting again

2010-07-03T08:49:00.002+08:00

The month of June I have basically let go of all my diet plan. I didn't lose any weight, in fact I gained 2 kilos in June.

Despite that, I'm not too worried. In my head, I am pretty focused. My personal target will always be getting to that certain weight by end of the year. Pretty flexible and my plan to get to my ideal weight extended to September 2011. Can't lose everything suddenly. Took forever to gain, would take equally long time to lose too.

This morning I thought I'd go for a walk again. But it was drizzling. At the same time its the kinda morning you wanna be lazy to. I know I have to start again somehow. The weather hadn't been on my side lately. If it doesn't rain, the sun would be stingingly hot even at 7.00pm.

Well, anyway I have a birthday party to go to. Its a huge do because its five people's birthday thing done in one party.. oldest being in mid 50's, youngest 2 years old. I have no money for gift haha. My 1st month pay, I spend on work clothes and catching up on the bills and of course groceries. What I have left are for my fuel and other expenditures minus stuff like gifts and such. I really don't know what to get seriously. I'm tempted to gift one of my sister's shoes away... JK!

I'll write more later.

Blood pressure has improved :D

2010-05-25T10:03:00.003+08:00

I went for my physical check yesterday. The good thing about it is my blood pressure is at 120/82, that's like doing pretty good in my book, because my readings could be like 190/85 easy before. My last work related health check classified me as having hypertension, but this one didn't. The doctor just gave an advice to take good care of myself since I have family history of being diabetic and having hypertension.

So, that's another benefit of taking better care of your health.

I missed jogging on Sunday because we have to go to the market. Got lots of vegetables and the fridge is stocked since a long while. I feel so damn secure... The wonder of having a stocked fridge would do to the mind. Did go for a bit of walk in the afternoon, carrying my nephew on my shoulders, so yeah that's some workout actually but I didn't really count that because I ate a nice rice porridge after that, made by my sis-in-law but that was nice anyway, since haven't seen them for 2 weeks already (record time, lol)

Missed the morning jog on Monday because I have that health check, so I went in the afternoon. Ran further than I have ever been at the park. Maybe I could actually do a full circle eventually.

And then, I went for a jog this morning. Takes shorter time to complete the track again. And ugh! I was so lazy too today I don't know why..

I'm thinking of making a brothy greens with potato and egg for lunch today. And maybe go jogging at the park later. I am a little worried because when I start on 31st May, my shift will be from 8.30am to 5.30pm daily, so I won't have time for my usual jogs and walks except for weekend for six weeks... So, probably I'm gonna really use that kickboxing CD...

Oh yeah, my new colleague, a girl that will be joining with me at the new place, OMFG she is awesome! She is my height but built like a model and she already got 2 kids. She can look glamorous but she do jungle trekking! She asked me if I would like to join and I'm like whoah really? Hell yeah! My sister knows I hate jungle trekking but that would be something good to do since I am more outdoorsy now. I'd like to challenge myself. She suggest doing lots of lunges exercises because that's what would really help you when jungle trekking and its a great exercise for sexier legs. I did lunges before and I know it burns the thighs. I'm a little scared but then I guess if I can be from couch potato to jogging every morning kinda person, I can start doing lunges too. She is awesome friendly and she said I am energetic and she likes that. I think being around her can definitely help me shed a few more kilos towards my goal.

Saturday weigh in :D

2010-05-22T16:27:00.002+08:00

I am weighing in at 116.6 kg. Its plateauing. Haha LIES! I actually gained 2 kilos then losing again because I ate a tad more than I did last week. I noticed I was pretty hungry last week that I gorged on food. Bad sign. I was depriving myself, that means my metabolism could be lower than it should so I thought I have to really take it easy.

I still walk/jog every morning. The same track that took me 45 minutes to complete last week, now takes 30 minutes so I have to add the distance so that it will take me 60 minutes in total. So I add the track yesterday and took me 60 minutes but today I'm already shaving off to 55 minutes. And I even started jogging uphill. Hurts my butt but I feel great that I could push my self to go that far. Three weeks ago, ask me to do this, I would drop to the ground and cry and scream and pull tantrum.

Body wise, some pants and shirts loosening. All my pants are a little loose on the tummy. To think one point there were tight. Like hella tight. Even this one pants I bought that could hardly contained my super thunder thighs are just right now. But of course size 20.. far cry from my size 12 target but I seriously don't mind because I am seeing progress. I was at size 22 at my heaviest.

I eat lots of vegetables, tempe, egg, fish, banana, I still take rice. Depends on the day but usually its a cup or lesser. I'm not ready to swear it off just yet. Maybe I'll try alternating days, one day with white rice, one day without.. that will be the plan.

My bloated calves aren't so bloated anymore. To think these two pins are the one that been carrying this heavy frame running, I have great respect for my legs. When they start moving, its less sore because I do have that sore joints bane. Things that makes you don't wanna move...

So yeah, no reduction in weight this week, in fact there's a slight increase but I am still focused on my target by end of this month. If I reached it, I would've lost 7 kilos this month alone.

I'm going to buy grocery now and then maybe a walk. Hopefully THE WALK will happen.

Sailing through another day

2010-05-16T18:56:00.003+08:00

Next weight update is Saturday.

For now I have successfully climbed up and ran down hill again today. Something as silly as my ponytail bouncing from side to side as I ran seems to propel me forward. Nothing more that says youth in bouncing pony tail through vigorous running.

Just consistently walking and running for seven days a week I can feel my stamina getting better. I can run farther and it is not as taxing as it was say on Monday itself... and my legs look less bloated and I think those hill climbing are doing things to my ass which is great by my book.

Had a drink with a close friend of mine yesterday and she noticed my face is smaller. That and also this dude been staring at me, (I'm positive coz my my friend was sitting at another angle) actually came over and asked if he could joined (coldly dismissed by both of us) so yeah. Pretty good feeling :P

Oh um I'm eating bananas. They are awesome good!

Ugh Run Wani Run!

2010-05-15T09:21:00.003+08:00

Progressively losing 500 gm (1.1 lb) a day. I am glad. I feel better, I look better, the clothes has a bit more space than before and my hair isn't falling off as bad as it used to. Today, I am weighing in at 116.3kg (256.4 lb). The target of 115 kg by the end of May doesn't sound impossible at all right. Haha looks crazy heavy in lb, but to be honest, to get down to my target of 60 kg (132 lb) that would take about four months at this rate I'm going.. but honestly, I am not delusional. If it happens in four months, that would be great, if it takes double, triple the time, that would be great too. It takes time to gain this weight, don't expect it would magically comes off in a blink of an eye. But yeah, I am excited to think that the last time I was at 60kg was probably when I was 12.

However, I do think I need to stash the scale somewhere. I kept jumping on it checking everyday. Always after my morning shower after the walk. It's not highly recommended because should you hit another plateau, you may get discouraged.. Jon Gabriel advised to check every six months instead but damn scale is so readily accessible I just HAVE to find out! Perhaps I will start checking every week instead of everyday.

Since yesterday, instead of plain walking, I have included some running in my walks. I never like running because its merciless to my ankles and surprisingly, my hips. It hurts like turd if I run. What can I say I weigh like a baby whale and the poor joints which are designed for a leaner frame is really taking a toll on each impact (I think its like a tonne or something based on a certain calculation) And when I hurt, I would still go for walks but then it gets unbearably painful that I have to quit altogether.

But after going through the same thing for a few days I got -gasps- bored of the routine. Ugh, I am seriously easily bored! So I start jogging gently, careful not to hurt myself. Yeah I cheated that I jog downhill and on even surface and walk uphill but hey, better than nothing at all right?

I also played mind-games that from this lamp post to the next two posts, I must run, then the next two posts walk then the next run and so on and at certain point I imagined of being chased by my sister. I don't want to imagine something dangerous because that place can get deserted at times, and I totally believe the law of attraction so better my sister running after me than anything else.

Its super tiring, my legs were crying for mercy not of the joint pains, but the lazy muscles that has been left unexcited for decades. So were my arms ugh they burned and spasmed slightly. Yes, I am so not fit but I have to say, I am better than I was a month ago because there's hardly any joint pains. I guess, my body FAT switch is off and it's helping me to keep up with my routine and not be discouraged by random aches and pains.

To be honest I would start approaching the walk with slight dread. I was never physical. I do get worried if I get too tired or got hurt or something but I insist that I gotta do this and if I keep it up for 21 days, after that it will be ingrained and I get used to it. My mom has been great. Its Saturday but she woke me up as if it is weekdays. And even though I don't have to send my niece to school, I still have to go for my jog and yeah again I woke up groggy but nothing a cold water to the face can't fix.

After the run I would be so dead tired that I could hardly take that shower. But what makes it amazing, is after the shower and 20 minutes lie down with The Book, I feel GREAT! Seriously. I look forward to tomorrow's run as I have looked forward to today's run yesterday. And to think, I hated running so much before.

I feel great and my mind isn't so boxed up. At this point, I feel euphoric that anything is possible. Maybe one day bungee jumping who knows. I always wanna challenge my extreme fear of height.

Before that, I would want to buy me a mountain bike so I can cycle around, that would be uber fun! I love riding bike!

p/s : I made Nestum yesterday. Its one of those denatured food, and its wheat, double wham.. at first I felt like I want it but I just took one spoon in my mouth but I couldn't stomach it, I threw it away. Wow, I loved that stuff before. Now, I couldn't even force myself to eat it... mind power much?

Takes me over 29 years to realise, this one sided love for me...

2010-05-14T13:30:00.004+08:00

Hi,

For those who don't know me, you should know that I am a fat girl. That is what the name of the blog implies.

I made a revelation today that I have always hated my body. I've just never entertained the thought because I know its unhealthy. But hiding doesn't mean not having the thought at all, no matter how far you push it to the back of your mind, it would always be there. The fact remained that I hated my fat body.

I have always been a chunky kid. I am the biggest baby in the family, grew up chubby albeit when I look back in my old pictures, it was all just baby fat and I have always been a cute child. But I have always been rediculed of being fat by other children my age. Mainly because I am not exactly a standard local size, I am also taller than most and having and over protective mother, I just grew to be a homely child because she would never let me out of the house. Things just gets difficult after awhile when I started going to school, because I just happen to be more chunky than most kids but at the same time the tallest girl. Being homely and tall, turns me literally a giant among my peers. My mother, being a loving woman that she is, would never let me join any serious sport team like hockey back when I was in school. And me, being a people pleaser since I was a child would always listen to my mom and pretty much believe I am as coordinated as a newborn fawn with four legs and not really sure what to do with them.

And that idea goes on throughout my life. I was never into sport. The only ones I would be involved would be body centric for me such as tug o war team and shot put back in school. I was also involved in hand ball. I love how viciously you can throw the ball into the goal, but then because my mom never exactly encourage it, I would always miss practice and the mindset that I can never be good enough, stops me from being exactly good at it.

I was never the cool kid or even remotely attractive because I am the giant back in school. In high school, there was about three or four other girls who are my size, and two who are actually bigger but still at the end of the day, I was still fat and I hate how I look and I have always been shy and awkward, never could get close to any friends, even other girls, basically hiding behind my flabs even though at that age, I was craving for real friendship. The only time I have a close friendship back when I was in form 2 until after PMR in form 3 (thats 14 to 15 year of my age) that I was close with this one awesome girl until she left to a different school, after that I pretty much keep to myself.

In college, I had to move out of the house. It was three upstates away, takes about five hours drive to get there. Away from home and being under tight school schedule things sort of improved. Due to activities and how I need to climb uphills everytime I need to go back to my dorm, I was losing a lot of weight even though I do eat six times a day. It was an exhausting and stressful period however, with all those weight being shed I made more friends, boys and girls and I start to have more confidence, a much solid self esteem. Thing was, I didn't even realised I have actually lost weight while I was in college. I still see a freaking giant when I was there because I was never a standard local size and I was again the tallest girl in my unit.

But when I do get back home, the people back at home noticed. Of course, after a long absence, they would have a fresh mind of what I was and when I got back, I was 'taller'. No, I didnt grew while I was in college. I stopped at 170 cm (5' 7") when I was 17. I just shed those weight and appear narrower than I usually was. Those were really good times for me. Then, college ended and I moved back home because my university is just a stone throw away.

At Uni, I met my bestfriend, the pretty gal that is taller than me. She wasn't svelte but she was plump in that cutish way and very attractive. Haha, dare I admit it, I am her homely ugly friend? How pathetic am I? However, she never looked at me that way, she is the best person ever because she never judge me. For us, we would go out have fun and EAT. Yes, our favourite being anything McDonald. Together, we put on weight. In 3 and a half years I was there, I was getting even more heavier even before I went of to college.

After that life just went through a blur. My dad got really sick, I never bothered about my weight or me for it matters. Still chunky, low self esteem, not even bothered to find a job because it was hard time but most of all, I just feel that nobody wanna hire a fatty. But with the life challenges and difficulties I went through when my dad was really sick, gave me a different kind of strength because to me if I can go through this episode, I would breeze through anything else.

Then eventually after a series of opportunities that came through my way with that mentality of I am stronger I ended up working with this call/processing centre for an international bank.

This is where I grew at my heaviest.

When I joined, I was still pretty much okay with things of course the stress of training and eventually the work itself and the working hours just helped things get worse. Late night dinners, snacking at your seat, sedentary lifestyle, constant stress. I know for a fact that I am fatter since I joined but it never really hit me until I saw my induction photo that they hang at the wall that I was much narrower when I first joined the company.

Everything was helping me gained the whole weight to the point I was at my heaviest at 137.7 kilos, this is recorded on 14 January 2009.. The ugliest fact that I realised what those excess weight did to me was how disgusting my stomach was hanging out.

At that time, I was already a team leader, managing 20 people a day. Trying to meet target, in term of volume and quality at the same time managing staff issues, and also guiding them in their career path. It was a lot of work and due to high volume, extended working hours is a must, never an option. I think I lost myself completely as the time goes. Having toxic subordinates, makes it worse. I just got bigger and uglier because I need to hide myself from them, the negativities that they throw at me. Its just so difficult to please people and me who always subconsciously trying to please feel that I have failed exponentially. I was a total failure, bar none.

Due to my weight, my blood pressure just seems to shot up. I am on medication, one a beta blocker, another for my blood. Two pills in the morning and one at night. I hardly have my period because I also have symptoms of policystic ovary syndrome which is due to the fact I was so fat which at the same time makes me stay fat. It seems that my body is fighting against me.

During these period, of course I dieted. I dieted and tried some exercise on and off. Throughout my entire life, there will always be my diet period where I would lose some weight but gained everything back and even more. Nothing stays on long enough.

Even when I was refereed to the weight management clinic, this is where I was last recorded at 137.7 kilos. Even then, I have some resolve to lose it but I don't think I understand the degree of it other than I just wanna lose weight.

With my mom's help, she does the cooking I ate healthier food. I do have to eat, even when I go back after work I would still eat. Just the choice of food makes the difference and also the portion. Instead of a plate of rice with all the dishes, I was on tuna sandwich with wholemeal bread before I go to sleep.

And yet, I have cravings. Reading back my diet journal, I realised I was still obsessed with food. Its so funny, I feel guilty all the time, yes I shed some weight but I was so damn bothered even the thought of thinking of eating food that is not healthy is making me guilty which makes me think about it more.

In one month, I lost six kilos. This is with healthy eating program and the weekends stair climbing and weekdays of trekking from my parking to office. The fact that I was so heavy, makes my body work harder on its own.

But, even that said, things just got stressful again at work. The diet and the clinic visit was thrown out of the window.

I never went back to that heaviest weight, but at the same time, I seriously feel that my job is putting a great toll on my health that I decided enough of this thing that I call a job and I resigned without even waiting for that lucrative year end bonus because I just decided at that time if I don't quit now, I would put my life in danger. Even at this most difficult moment of my life, I never regretted that decision.

While lazying my time away for the last few months, something happened that clicked me oh shit I need to lose weight. A friend I made from Chicago will be flying down to Singapore early June. She will be stopping over in KL. She always say I am a hot chick because my awesome angle photos always hide the true fact of what I really am. My friend, I am still morbidly obese. This was back in end of March that she told me this.

I was mentally calculating I have 2 months to lose as much as possible without dying. At the time, I was at 125 kilos. I took out my dusty diet journal and flip back. From January last year until back in march I lost 12 kilograms. I am still morbidly obese with my BMI being 44, way above the 40 point of morbid obesity.

Flipping through the pages and rereading my previous jottings of my anguish to the fact that how fat I have been. I decided to take it up again. I am turning 30 next November. So, I decided and plan if I lose five kilos each month by November I would be 85 kilos, pretty much the weight that I was back in college and by end of the year I would be 80 kilos. I was again pretty much serious about losing weight. I was going for evening walks again on and off but admittedly, its quite difficult to keep up because the park that I go to is 15 minutes drive away and sometimes it rains and sometimes I just dont have the money for fuel to drive me there... You would ask why don't you walk at home? Well, I just hate the fact that some of my neighbours would make fun of me, which they will because they really think they are funny. The streets are always too busy as well and the bikes here are ridden with a vigour of amateur stuntpeople.

While doing all this, diet thing I still fought a lot with my hunger pangs and cravings. Lifelong battle of a dieter. I wasn't happy by the fact that even after watching what I eat and going for my walks, I was stagnant at 122 kilos for a few weeks. I failed to reach my target of 120 kilos by end of April 2010.

Still determined, I still go on with what I have been doing. I am still setting my target of 115 kilos by end of May.

But I was worried that I am not losing weight I lost a kilo then gained it back so 122 is pretty much the evil number that wouldn't budge. Then something happened one day, while net surfing about as I usually do I stumbled upon The Gabriel Method, I read about this guy that weighs 186 kilos once upon a time and lost 103 kilos with no sign of being overweight without going under the knife. That was pretty amazing to me because one fear about losing weight is excess skin, which you can't fix unless you surgically remove it. After reading and watching the videos, it left an impression in me of the idea of losing weight without actually going on a diet.

A few days after that, my sister put in some money in my account, it supposed to last for the month. She is the one that has sacrifices a lot since I left my job and I am eternally grateful. I hope she would know how much she has helped me and know how much indebted I am to her. Out of what she has given me, RM 140 out of that money I have used to pay for the book and the other audio materials that was a complete eye opener not just about losing weight but also how you perceive the idea of having a healthier lifestyle. While the book takes about two weeks to reach me, the audio book is readily downloadable once the payment was made. And for the past 2 weeks, this is what I have been listening and learning all the information I need to understand the method.

I don't say that I am 180 degrees changed person. I still love lazying about because I am just a super bum. But with the right mind and the right food, you just dont obsess about food as much and while I still struggle to wake up at 6 in the morning, I still get up to send my niece to school then proceed to my early morning walk that has lately includes a lot of running as well and instead of driving for grocery, I just walked. That saves fuel too.

And since then I have lost 4.9 kilos. That is in the period of two weeks.

What excites me to write this entry is, one is to celebrate of going over the 20 kilos mark since I was at 137.7 kilos, and that now I am at 116.8 kilos. Yes, it took me more than a year to go this far and I still have a long way to go but I am glad I reached this milestone.

Two, is because after getting the book which I received in the post yesterday, I have read the parts that are not included in the audio book. They are the personal accounts of the success stories. One of the story gave me an 'ahha!' moment.

All these while that I have been hating my body and struggling against it, it has done nothing but been protecting and loving me. I am floored by the fact that yes, I have been very cruel to my body but despite it all, it keeps on protecting me from harm in its own way. I have been eating junks, feeding it with things that it doesn't know what to do with it and even harmful things. I have been a very selfish person. My body had loved me unconditionally all these while and it took me over 29 years to finally realise that.

My ideal weight for my height is 60 kilos. That is another 58.6 kilos to shed. But, even that said, I am not worried anymore. With the thought of love for my body its a journey that I am willing to take no matter how long it will be.

And yes, I am glad I didn't get the job that I was so hoping to get until a few minutes ago. My body just said a BIG NO to it because yes, it needs that good 8 hours of night sleep.

Look After You - The Fray

2009-11-17T08:04:00.003+08:00

If I don't say this now I will surely break
As I'm leaving the one I want to take
Forgive the urgency but hurry up and wait
My heart has started to separate

Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
I'll look after you

There now, steady love, so few come and don't go
Will you won't you, be the one I always know
When I'm losing my control, the city spins around
You're the only one who knows, you slow it down

Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
I'll look after you

If ever there was a doubt
My love she leans into me
This most assuredly counts
She says most assuredly

Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
I'll look after you

It's always have and never hold
You've begun to feel like home
What's mine is yours to leave or take
What's mine is yours to make your own

Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
Oh, oh, oh

Note : Aku hidup lagi. Just a little sad of my own stupid game.

Fiction Fix Part 2 - Sally

2009-11-01T20:02:00.003+08:00

She looked down on the crumpled form on the floor and smiled. The metallic smell of blood permeates the air. She inhaled deeply, her spirit danced with glee.

She had put up with the nonsense too long, taking them all in. The petulant demands, false accusations and ridiculous terms. Not wanting to create a scene, she will accept all of them in.

It will always be "Yes Sally, I will do them," a smile plastered on her face, the smile that masked the maggots of hate that was consuming her from within.

"THOSE 10 ITEMS ARE YOURS!" Sally voice was hard as if trying to exert herself to be at the topmost notch of the food chain. The rest of the world seems to be nothing but dust at the bottom of her feet.

"Of course, Sally, I will do them," the smile returned but there was a tremble in her voice.

Sally did not see what was coming. She turned to leave but suddenly an incredible force shoved her up against the concrete wall.

"What is going on?" Sally’s mind went reeling and she screamed in fear and pain as a clump of her hair was pulled back roughly.

"Stop it!" she screamed, her arms flailed in her futile effort to push her attacker away

"Does it hurt Sally? Does your head hurt?" the cold leveled voice send chill down her spine. The tune was different but she could still recognised the voice.

“What are you doing?" she screamed, confused and afraid.

"Something that I should have done a long time ago," that level voice cold like the arctic wind. Sally hated how they sounded so cheerful before, how it grated her nerves in cheerfulness but now she felt fear. She could only flail helplessly against the tormenting grasp.

With her neck and hair being tightly gripped, Sally was pushed forward to the other side of the room. Her heart skipped a beat as she came closer and closer towards the glass wall. Her struggle became stronger but it was all for nothing.

With a mighty push, she was slammed against the wall. For a second, it felt like it would be alright but suddenly the glass gave way with a dreadful crack.

She had meant only to rattle her nerve, she watched with fascination as the glass gave way under Sally's weight.

The sound of glass falling to the floor filled the room; she stood wide eyed at the scene that is playing before her eyes as if in slow motion.

Sally slumped to the floor, on the other side of the glass wall that was there. Her hair in disarray all over her face, that she could not see if her eyes were still opened or closed. But what she could see was thick; red liquid had begun to flow from beneath the prone body.

She knew she will never get away with this but how odd that she felt so free. She bends down beside the body and softly touched the cheek that was turning cold quickly.

“Did it hurt Sally?" she asked.

Husk

2009-11-01T19:46:00.001+08:00

Ramai orang cuba reach aku minggu ni :P Aku off phone aku pasal frankly, I don't give a damn... I do try to give what I can while I can but if possible, I wish to wash my hands off completely. Enough lar. You took everything off of me already. I am now only a husk.

I'm losing weight again!!!

2009-10-24T16:57:00.003+08:00

The irony is, I have to leave my job to be able to do it this time.

By Raya, I was back to square one but weigh in today, I have positively lost 5 kilos! WOOOT! The secret? Skipping dinner and cutting down on my portions.

My objective, I have to fit into the two pink kurungs in time for Raya Haji.

Why?

Due to stress, the two so called Raya kurungs were tight on me and we were supposed to lose weight during Ramadhan. Not happening...

However, my friend's wedding is going to happen on the upcoming Raya Haji and dare I say it? She wants me to be the bridesmaid, isn't that awesome? I am honoured and nerve-wrecked.

Her theme will be pink which is the colour of the two unfortunate Kurungs. And since there is NO WAY I can afford a new dress, I am taking this as a starting point of my major project.

I was trying last month but I was so stressed out. Binge eating all around and no time to counter attack the food with exercise. While now, with low stress I could just skip dinner without much drama with other distractions.. heeeee. And while there hasn't been an opportunity to go for a jog since I was jobless, thanks to the weather..... I've been doing housework... mopping the floor is hard work when you don't do it regularly so I am actively mopping the floor. Interesting huh?!

I think I will go for a jog today. Even if the thunder rumbling in the distance. I have less than a month to reach a goal of fitting into the kurungs. I need an inch off everywhere to be deemed successful Oo Will I be able to make it?!

Tune in to the next post to see if I will succumb to the cravings of Cadbury Dark Chocolate XP~

Analogue Monologue

2009-10-23T13:48:00.005+08:00

What the hell am I doing?

Am I an evil woman leading on a child or a naivete being lead on by an experienced younger man?

Do you know the bliss of being irresponsible for your actions? It's a guilty pleasure I have to say but of course, a pleasure nonetheless.

I remember of 'eating' this kind of people at my old workplace... but then kids here and kids abroad are different species? Or so I want to believe.

In my world of make believe, which is getting more and more vivid as the week go by, I am lulled in believing emotions that is a complete fiction in my head. The danger is what if I draw the line too late and ended up plummeting deep into emotional mess that is waiting to happen?

Surely well deserving you moron, you were the one asking for trouble.

Alas, life with no drama is simply too dry to bear. I am indeed the spinner of this reverie, wishing life with excitements be it only for a trickle.

The game played with proclamation of love, worthlessly scattered still bring warmth and happiness because in this fable, it is real.

DRAAAAAAINAGE!!!

2009-09-17T02:00:00.001+08:00

Fiction Fix Part 1

2009-09-17T01:42:00.003+08:00

Sesuatu yang aku tak pernah berangan berlaku. Tidak disangka yang keperluan untuk mendapatkan software baru untuk komputerku menemukan aku dengan budak hingusan itu.

Dia tak mungkin lebih tua dari 25 tahun. Kemungkinan besar seorang lepasan ijazah muda ataupun seorang graduan bekerja sambilan. Mungkin juga seorang lepasan SPM yang berwajah matang.

Tinggi. Sungguh tinggi. Lebih tinggi dariku. Aku sendiri berketinggian 170 cm ataupun 5’ 7” dan dia mungkin satu kaki lebih tinggi. Lean, thanks to his youth. The next thing I noticed, such clear skin. Aku mencemburui dia dan mula rasa tua. The fine lines under my eyes suddenly felts like ravines and the spots on my cheeks like moon surface. Oh goodness! I am an old woman indeed at 29!

Dia terus bertanya dengan ramah, “Cari apa, cik?.” Walaupun tidak tersenyum, wajahnya ikhlas ingin membantu.

A few nanoseconds went by of me appreciating his height and good skin. Jadi apa yang ditanyanya tidak dijawab cepat. Dengan senyum kambing, aku menunding ke arah barisan software di atas rak di depanku.

“Nak cari OS ke?” tanyanya lagi.

Jargons, he knows what he is doing. He refers to the operating system, simply known as OS, the software that makes your computer run. However, I guess he shouldn’t be using it with a customer, even when I do understand what he meant.

“Ada Windows™ XP©, pilihan terbaik buat masa sekarang,” dia pantas mengesyorkan.

“Windows™ Vista© ada?” aku bertanya, pasti dia tersilap, kerana itu adalah versi terkini di pasaran.

“Ada, tapi berat sangat. Kalau ada RAM 4 gigs baru sedap pakai.” jawabnya selamba.

Aku angguk, punah harapan nak berwindow Vista©. Indeed, it is too heavy for my miniscule 2 gigs RAM.

“Boleh rekemen yang mana paling bagus?” aku serahkan kepada dia. Sudah lama tak berkomputer, sakit kepala nak memilih dengan terlalu banyak pilihan di depan mata.

Dia menarik turun satu kotak dari rak itu, “Windows XP latest release. Ini yang paling baik. Lagipun ada bundle softwares sekali.”

Dia menyerahkannya kepada ku. I guess he has decided for the both of us what I need to get for my new PC.

“Di mana image editting software?” I asked for the next item I need.

“Ada, sini,” he beckoned me to the other side of the aisle. I saw all the softwares I always been waiting to use since my last computer broke down three years ago. Memories of good old times when I actually have time to do image editting and building websites.

Di situ dia mencapai kotak Adobe™ Photoshop©. Memang software yang aku cari.

“Belajar lagi ke?” tiba-tiba dia bertanya.

Terkejut beruk sekejap. Can I pass as a student still? Hati menyanyi riang. The fine lines vanished from under my eyes and the spots gone.

“Oh, tak. Dah lama habis belajar. Dan dah lama tak pakai software ni, tapi sekarang nak mula balik since dah dapat PC baru,” I blabbed. Oh Tuhan, dia sekadar initiate small talk but I have to unravel about my life with a new PC.

“Oh, ingat study lagi.” he smiled. He has a masculine face.

No, he is not an SPM student I decided.

Adobe™ Dreamweaver©? Tiba tiba mata aku ternampak package di belakang kepalanya. Bukan Macromediakah pengeluarnya? “I thought its Macromedia™ Dreamweaver©, kenapa Adobe™ Dreamweaver©?

He looked puzzled. He turned and took down the package. “Well, this is the latest version. CS4©, sama juga dengan Adobe™ Photoshop© tu, latest version jugak.” He handed the box to me.

I decided not to broach the subject anymore. What do you expect. I am so out of this computer business for five years now. “Saya nak beli Windows™ XP© ni dengan Adobe™ Photoshop© saja ye.”

With that I reached up beside him, trying to put the unwanted software box back at its place. Suddenly me, the tallest girl I have been since forever felt so, so short.

“Boleh ke? Biar saya...” he quickly took it and reached up over me. Soon enough the box sat back where it belonged a minute ago. I shrank beneath him like a scared mouse. Awkward moment passes for a few seconds.

“Sorry,” he took a step back and so did I.

“Tak, salah saya,” aku mengaku dengan segan. Kalau aku tak sibuk nak letak kotak tu balik ke atas rak dia tak perlu nak membantu sebegitu sekali. Muka ku panas dek malu. “Ini jelah dulu. Tak mampu nak beli Dreamweaver© sekali. Lain kalilah.”

Dia angguk dan senyum, gesturing me to follow, “Kaunter di depan.”

Aku ikut di belakangnya dan mencuri pandang susuk badannya. Nyata dia memang dibina dengan sempurna.

“Apa yang aku buat ni?” Aku menepuk dahi sendiri memikirkan kegilaanku.

“Ye, ada masalah ke?” dia menoleh dan menyapa.

Did I say that out loud? “Tak, tak!” Bagus, sekarang aku mungkin sudah dicap sebagai makcik gila.

Kebetulan di pagi Khamis itu tidak ada pelanggan lain. Di kaunter bayaran, dia terus mengira barang belianku dan memasukkannya ke dalam beg plastik.

“Bila nak beli Dreamweaver© tu nanti, datanglah ke sini. By the way, Macromedia™ dah kena acquired by Adobe™, so tu pasal sekarang it’s Adobe™ Dreamweaver©.”

Aku tak sedar mulutku dah ternganga. Aku ingat dia tak tau apa yang aku ngomelkan tadi.

“Belajar lagi ke?” aku pulak bertanya kepada dia sebaik aku sedar mulut aku rasa sedikit kering

“Not supposed to tapi scholarship tak cukup,” jawabnya ringkas.

Aku gelak kecil. Telahan aku tepat.

“Oh ye, kedai ni bagi newsletter on what’s new and any update for softwares, hardwares and other gadget. Bila ada sale nanti pun kami akan notify through the newletter.

Memikirkan azam ku untuk mengikuti kembali perkembangan teknologi komputer kini, aku setuju.

Dia menyuakanku satu borang untuk diisi. Perlu letak nama dan alamat email dengan nombor telefon, selain nombor kad pengenalan dan alamat.

Seperti merasakan aku tak selesa mengisi borang dan meninggalkan maklumatku disitu dia cepat menambah. “It’s perfectly confidential and we won’t sell your details. Ada clause at the bottom of the form.”

Setelah selesai, kuhulurkan borang itu kepadanya.

“Cik Aida Sofya Jusoh. Sedap nama tu,” pujinya.

Aku terpana sekejap. Pandai sangat berniaga, small talk engaging customer. Patut dia ada perniagaan sendiri. “Itu sempena nama arwah makcik dan masjid di Turki.”

“Oh, Hagia Sophia?” tanyanya.

Aku terkedu lagi. “Ye, pandailah awak ni. Mesti rajin tengok National Geographic kan? Tak pun rajin baca encyclopedia.”

Tiba tiba dia terdiam dan aku perasan mukanya sedikit merah. Dia cepat cepat menyelesaikan pembelianku and menghulurkan beg plastik sudan berisi kepada ku, “Nanti notification akan dihantar di email Cik Aida ye.”

Meremang bulu roma ditengkuk mendengar namaku disebut walhal aku tak tahu apa namanya, “Awak dah tahu nama saya, nama awak?”

Like a child caught with his hands in the cookie jar, dia mengeluarkan tag namanya dari poket “Lupa nak pakai.” Dia menyuakan tag itu kepadaku sebelum menyematnya di baju. “Aiman, Aiman Firdaus.”

Comelnya, aku bisik di hati.

“Datanglah lagi nanti,” dia tersenyum kembali

Aku sekadar angguk dan senyum sambil meninggalkan kedai komputer itu. Anak dara tua macam aku ini tiba-tiba sangat tertarik kepada budak hingusan yang bernama Aiman Firdaus itu.

Note : Draft number 2.

Mud

2009-09-10T03:02:00.001+08:00

... is the latest scheme colour for the blog.

9

2009-09-09T13:00:00.002+08:00

Happy 09/09/09!

This marks the last set of repeating single digit dates until 1st January 2101.

Next year, we can begin celebrating the double digits up until 2012 with 10/10/10, 11/11/11 & 12/12/12.

Wonder where you will be on those dates?

The honour of sticking to a decision

2009-09-09T07:22:00.001+08:00

I just have too many thoughts in my head. I don't know how to segregate it. It’s like one lump of thing that I am not sure what head or tail of it.

Not helping that my emotion is getting too extreme. Too happy, too sad, too angry, too agitated that now I fancy that yeah, I am developing the bi-polar syndrome. One time I was labeling certain someone that she is bi-polar, because she is very happy at one moment and suddenly so angry. She was somebody that I used to work with, a difficult individual to manage. She spoke her mind and she knew what she wanted and she went for it. Unfortunately, her demands could be pretty ridiculous. And when it gets too much, my passive aggressive thoughts will launch an internal attack of insults that yes, the crazy woman is indeed bi-polar. She in my ‘normal’ eyes was a ‘little’ mad. While I am really a nutcase in my head, I don’t equate reality to my thoughts so much that I am to me was ultimately more superior.

See, I can never get out of such things without retribution. I believe Allah always has His ways with me. My karma always comes back quickly. See where I am now, the next candidate for treatment at Hospital Bahagia.

My thoughts so addled, one day I forgot to screw the fuel cap back in place and drove off. Only realizing the mistake when I took a turn and heard the clunking noise of something falling off. This was at 1.00 in the morning, bless the traffic was hardly there and deathberry was with me or I would be sitting by the roadside having a nervous breakdown of the thought of having an job appointment early the following morning while having a capless fuel tank. Moments like that would make me so introspective of my stupidity. So little is needed to cause a catastrophe.

There are also lapses of thoughts. Little void of ‘whatever happened that time?’ Another night my phone vanished in the car because I was busy thinking that perhaps I have been laughed at by a group of adults with juvenile brains or perhaps it was me being paranoid which is even more pathetic because it was hardly a big deal to begin with but I thought about it too hard that I couldn’t remember where I stashed the phone.

I am a walking disaster waiting to happen.

My ex-boss who I learned is very concern for my decision suggested “Why don’t you take an unpaid leave for a couple of months?” We talked. One and half hour worth of probing questions, suggestions and disguised cajoling, I almost ate his words. In the end, I asked him for time as I need to sleep on it first. My resolve wavered.

But soon enough a wake up call.

Friday I was supposed to be on leave but suddenly an important person died in India and there was a 100% contingency required on our site. Reminding me, how awesomely brittle your plan can be while working here. Everything about you and your family takes the backseat to the greater plan of the business that feeds your family. F*ck man, I will do my obligations yeah, I’ll get things done but damn you for controlling me to submit to the fact that I am so tied up to your importance.

Now, while the exhaustion was hardly assuaged, another wave of mess is coming soon. Too soon. Like I said to deathberry, instead of having a confident swagger of a battle hardened warrior returning to the front line, I am like an ex-convict thrown back to jail for another bout of rape and unwilling sodomy. “No more!”

Call me a yellow bellied pussy. I admit yes, I am a coward with my tail between my legs. I salute those who managed to go through this for another campaign. For me regardless of the extra benefits, works well under pressure does not mean works well under continuous pressure. Why would I go through a longer journey when the destination will still be the same?

While money is a concern in my endless list of worries, it’s also about my presence in the life of people that matters to me. My mom needs to go for a scan on 15th. A serious concern on her kidneys again. Last time the result came out good. I hope the same this time but should we are not blessed for another favourable result I need to be there for her. Let it be an excuse to the lot of you, but that is a reason enough for me.

Did Adolf Dassler see this coming when he started his business?

2009-08-30T01:35:00.005+08:00

Looking at these Adidas gears makes Fatcat wish she is not such a big and fat cat. On the other hand if Fatcat is indeed a Thincat, she may not be able to afford these but Fatcat do hope one day Fatcat is not so lazy and maybe become a Sportycat XD

Shoes shoes shoes *salivates*

Tees..

Hoodies... yeah, I need to upped my street cred =P

Jackets

Tracksets

These are from the Adidas Original line, if you are in the same boat with me, check the online catalogue out

Explosive Diarrhea

2009-08-27T02:10:00.005+08:00

I had a mean diarrhea today. I couldn't sleep, I was in pain, I practically slept in the toilet, ended up not going to work because I could not even drag myself up to get dress.

And the best part is, one of my staff tendered her 24 hours resignation, letting me know via SMS with a little thank you note. The whole process of terminating her on the system... argh! If not for the exotic belly dancing going on in my gut and the repeated visits to the throne...

Unless if they had something like this...

Like I said, its a thankless process, people resign left and right this year. Forking awesome. More shat for me to bear, I have to get more people soon to be prepared for October campaign. Even though by end of October I will bit my adieu to them, I want to make sure things are done right at least while I am around.

Why do I care right? Saving my pals' asses that's why. At this point of time, I don't know how to motivate the team. I am just scared of a chain reaction or some sort. It will be like trying to close the holes in a sinking boat. The training takes forever, when somebody leaves it takes a long time to recover the same efficiency.

Thus, me being stupidly apologetic of quitting to certain people. Meh, that is a different story now... I am just the white elephant anyway.

I don't want to be like this dude :

http://asia.elliottback.com/japanese-newscaster-ages-fast/

Resigned to fate

2009-08-25T05:53:00.005+08:00

I kept thinking about it. But finally, I've done it. The craziest stunt I have ever pulled in my entire life.

I tendered my resignation last Friday.

I didn't update about it earlier because my boss asked me to think about it again during the weekend.

2 years versus 2 days, I let myself think about it between looking at Jobstreet, emailing friends, chatting, twittering, watching Japanese Dorama and getting scolding from my mother for spending the whole day in the room like a nutcase that I am.

So come Monday, I reported in and went through my day as always. Work that I have grown to despise so much inside. Silently calculating 2 months from 21st of August 2009. Which will be the longest stretch of 2 months of my life.

Then at 9.00pm, my boss finally messaged me. "So, you are really going to leave me, aren't you?"

Nani kore? I am watching too many Japanese serials now I am getting weird message from my boss too.

"Leaving XXXX, we are still friends as long as you want to stay as my friend," I responded. I always leave the ball on the other side of the court for stuff like friendship.

"I am crying inside that you are leaving."

Sonna... what am I suppose to say? "Would you rather keep a friend who is in pain by your side?"

My boss has always been my boss from the beginning. When I joined in, I reported to him. He was there through the six months of hell. I cried to him in my frustration during the difficult period of the migration. But once BAU, he had to leave for a different team within the same department. I myself changed through three different bosses but somehow, I settled back to him about a year after I was promoted, by that time he was promoted as well. For the span of 4 years plus, it is almost like I have always been reporting to him. From his view, as we are both Scorpios, we have so many things in common. My actions he would always understand because he would do the same thing, except this one. Me resigning, it was a huge body slam to him but I never meant to give him such grief, my anger and pain never came from him. I guess, he is there as a collateral damage.

"You have to tell me how to do this, I don't know which form to use." He needed to process my resignation but since he was promoted 2 years ago, he hasn't had an external attrition that warrant him to process it, while I have gone through too many thanks to my thankless process.

"Let's see. You need to complete the notification of resignation form, my leave card, the resignation letter, you need to sign, name and date it on the date you accepted it, and also terminate me on the Peoplesoft, 2 months from the date of the letter." I deftly told him the steps. It did not escape me how morbid it is as I walk-through the process on how to terminate myself. I wonder how many people go through this bizarre moment in their life when they resign.

"Want me to process it?" I offered.

"No, I'll do it. So that the thought of you leaving will finally settle down in my head." he refused. "How do I terminate on Peoplesoft?"

I explained "From 21st of August, plus 2 months. My last physical date will be 20th October, so termination date should be 21st October."

"What happen if you do it wrong?"

"They will tell you the correct way then you have to do it again."

"Do I need to do this tonight?" Funny that a reverse role happened on my termination on the system.

"Yes, or 3 working days from the date you received the letter. Either way."

":("

Thus, the conversation between me and my boss, spanning the messaging system then later on in person before reverting back on the messaging system.

Either he is playing around so I feel guilty and decided to retract my resignation, or he is genuinely sad...

Deep inside, I am swaying but the thought of doing this for another 2 months strengthened my resolve again.

I also had a talk with my AVP.

His advice "Don't let your emotion dictate your decision."

So true, but I have gone completely bonkers here. He couldn't even understand the extent of it...

Bazaar Ramadhan

2009-08-23T01:07:00.006+08:00

You would think they got scared of H1N1, you thought wrong! The mob was so big that even the cars had to stop at the green light to allow people crossing. Me being anal about road safety and following rules gotten quite pissed off even when I am one of the pedestrian. I didn't join the crazy jay walking mind you, I just stood there, waiting for my turn thinking in my head, they must be very hungry to be so impatient. I just don't understand why they can't wait for the crossing signal to go green first, like the bazaar gonna shut down in 5 seconds if they don't get there fast enough. Malaysian can be such dumbasses to something as obvious as crossing the road...

Anyway, these are the photos, I tried taking more but my N80 only has one bar worth of power so it died on me. Never planned on snipping pictures anyway...

Ok, some do try to 'protect' themselves with the mask. But the crowd was something else, at a few points, people could hardly move. If someone suddenly shouted BOMB!! there could be death today.

Another angle of the madness. Ooh babies, they should have known better to bring young children in such a highly crowded place like this.

Colourful choices of drinks from left to right, melon, corn, sirap, keladi and bandung. All with the goodness of added preservatives, colorings and artificial flavours but what the heck, as if I even care about all that!

Ayam percik, the legs. I bought one of this. I haven't eaten it yet, its in the rice cooker being kept warm for sahur.

I bought one of this too. The breast and side part.

I could have taken a much better picture quality as there were countless array of kuih muih, all in different colours you can think off. I doubt they can sell all of them in one afternoon, so what happen to the rest?

The stuff they sell on the stick. The usual food fan fair for pasar malam also on sale during Ramadhan. Fish balls, crab balls, prawn balls, crab sticks, hot dogs, quail eggs, dimsum, ~~wanton~~ wantan, anything they can stuck a stick through is here.

This is only 1/25 of what on sale, there are repeat shows but there are so many other stuff on sale, tapping on Malaysia consumerism during Ramadhan month. One rejoicing factor to me to have other races joining in the fun, yes, I am all in for the Ramadhan bazaar food escapade. Just have to be careful on your expenditure though.

For this afternoon alone, I had Kuih tepong komak RM2, Murtabak RM10, Ayam Percik RM9, Soy drink RM4. Just four items and I spent RM25, can't be spending this much daily on bazaar haul. I have another 29 days to go.

Selamat Berpuasa Ramadhan Al-Mubaraq everyone!

I yelled at my dog in your bathroom because I think I need some serious help.

2009-08-21T05:55:00.001+08:00

Tagging from rotanpanjang

Pick the month you were born:

January-------I kicked
February------I loved
March--------I karate chopped
April----------I licked
May----------I jumped on
June----------I smelled
July-----------I did the Macarena With
August--------I had lunch with
September----I danced with
October-------I sang to
November-----I yelled at
December-----I ran over

Pick the day (number) you were born on:

1-------a birdbath
2-------a monster
3-------a phone
4-------a fork
5-------a snowman
6-------a gangster
7-------my mobile phone
8-------my dog
9-------my best friends' boyfriend
10-------my neighbour
11-------my science teacher
12-------a banana
13-------a fireman
14-------a stuffed animal
15-------a goat
16-------a pickle
17-------your mom
18-------a spoon
19------ - a smurf
20-------a baseball bat
21-------a ninja
22-------Chuck Norris
23-------a noodle
24-------a squirrel
25-------a football player
26-------my sister
27-------my brother
28-------an iPod
29-------a surfer
30-------a homeless guy
31-------a llama

What is the last number of the year you were born:

1--------- In my car
2 --------- On your car
3 ----------- In a hole
4 ----------- Under your bed
5 ----------- Riding a Motorcycle
6 --------- sliding down a hill
7 --------- in an elevator
8---------- at the dinner table
9 -------- In line at the bank
0 -------- in your bathroom

Pick the color of shirt you are wearing:

White---------because I'm cool like that
Black---------because that's how I roll.
Pink-----------because I'm NOT crazy.
Red-----------because the voices told me to.
Blue-----------because I'm sexy and I do what I want
Green---------because I think I need some serious help.
Purple---------because I'm AWESOME!
Gray----------because Big Bird said to and he's my leader.
Yellow--------because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars
Orange--------because my family thinks I'm stupid anyway.
Brown---------because I can.
Other----------because I'm a Ninja!
None----------because I can't control myself!

Career path change

2009-08-21T03:22:00.006+08:00

Oh yeah, no substantial updating activities in a while. Substantial updating in this blog is an oxymoron, but you know what I mean.

I am pretty depressed at the moment. Wait, actually I have been for a long time and it’s all because of my job. Oh my forking gourd, yes! I hate it THAT much, if I can’t get a different one that pays slightly less I will die a happy cat...

I have told everyone close to me at home and work, heck, I even told my staff and my boss already so that it won’t come as a surprise to them and also an insurance for me that I won’t chicken out again this time to suffer another great year with them.

I’ve done a lot of thinking, two years worth of thinking in fact on my so called areas of developments. Then I came across this article which echoes my thought that if I can do great with a job that I have no interest and in fact hates, imagine what I can do on a job that I love…

“The "fix your weaknesses" school believes that with enough discipline, determination, and training, anyone can do anything. Unfortunately, it confuses weaknesses and limitations. Weaknesses reflect a lack of skill (how to do something) or knowledge (what you know). Weaknesses can be overcome by education, training, experience, and practice. On the other hand, limitations reflect a lack of motivation (what you do well naturally). These really can't be overcome, because new motivations can't be acquired. In fact, if a person has low motivation in a particular area -- spelling, for example -- there is very little likelihood that he or she will ever be a great speller. The best they will be is adequate. Who wants to be adequate?

It's a much better idea to build on your strengths.”

This hits home to me because believe it; my area of development has always been being assertive. I can do assertive, but I don’t like being assertive. I feel like a Nazi when I do and I hate doing anything half boiled and pretentious.

I hate being a symbol of authority whatsoever.

It doesn’t help to have anal staff as well, yeah believe it; anal staff instead of an anal boss is as toxic. I am not anal so it is not helping either. It surprises me what makes them tick, because obviously something as stupid as where you put the attendance file is an issue here. Oh get a gun and shoot me will you, people die in bomb blasts all over the world, would they forking care where the attendance file is placed? I don’t think so; they’d be too busy running to save their life, heck! They don’t even know what an attendance file is! So shut it up and just sign the stupid attendance file!

Not to mention the amount of shit to deal with every year. Enough for now I would say. Save me from this insanity of my so called job and let me do something more wholesome that truly makes me happy, instead of an escapism that is my blog.

I’ve done a lot of soul searching at Livecareer.com and while my mind has always been interested towards certain areas, this test just amplifies it. In my opinion it’s pretty legit and the best part is, it is free. There are 100 questions analyzing your interests, your work styles and even gauging the inconsistency just in case you are a fluff and can’t make up your mind on what you like. While I always take light about myself, turns out I am at that age that I have realized what I really like and want to be when I grow up =P

This is my radar graph

My interest graph

The plus points are

And the minus ones

Perhaps psychologically due to the fact I abhor my current job, Administration and Assertive are up there with the least percentile.

Writing
Enjoys either creative or technical writing. Likely to have broad interests.

Industrial Art
Enjoys making or repairing things using machinery, or by hand.

Teaching/Social Service
Enjoys instructing people in learning new things, helping people solve problems, and assisting others.

Administration
Enjoys organizing the financial or day-to-day operations of a business or institution, supervising the activities of others, planning work schedules, and maintaining records.

Assertive
Prefers working situations in which it is appropriate to assert authority over others, and to direct and monitor their work.

If you want to do a soul searching yourself on what you would love to do in life, try the online test.

Warning: since it is free while being a good career test, it wants a lot of your particulars down to your home address and such. But it is worth a trouble for something as good which is free.

And be prepared to have the time to answer 100 questions, don’t rush it.

Whose line?

2009-08-18T03:16:00.000+08:00

Pak Lang Kopitiam PD

2009-08-09T20:59:00.005+08:00

We spend a night at a Bungalow in PD yesterday. Best woo!!!!

But I was spooked out because while there were many residence around, the house itself is a little tucked away by the seaside. Awesome to hear the waves crashing the beach and ebbing away. While it is still swimable, the sea was pretty rough and when the tide rolls in, it is only 1 or 2 metres away from the gate of the house. The house itself is on higher ground, you have to descend down the pathway to get to the beach.

The house was built in the 1950's and it is huge. It has three bedrooms with its own bath in each. The best feature of the house I guess is the living room which overlooks the sea, it has five sliding door panels.

Huge trees surrounded the house. It is super shady and the environmentalist in my heart marvels that the trees managed to grow so big but my typical Malay believes of the supernatural is spooked by this. The best part is the sliding door which is like super wide has no curtain what so ever. Wondered what things outside could see the inside at night HUHUHU!

I didn't take any pictures there, believe it because I was thinking what if I found some mysterious things in the background HAHAHA!!! I couldn't make myself go out alone even, I had to ask my brother to send me to the shop at 9.00pm. Penakut gila tak aku?

We left the house at around 11.00 am and made our way back. Stopped by PD town for lunch at Kopitiam Pak Lang.

Nasi Ayam

Fishball Soup

Lunch, yeah but there's still Breakfast Set

Porridge that burns the roof of my mouth. Hope it heals by tomorrow because its painful to eat.

There's also Laksa but no photo XD, eaten upon arrival.

More pimping shots of the little ones...

Isha, the daredevil

Apan, still sleepy from nap

Ame yang tandot

Floria 2009 Putrajaya

2009-08-09T20:38:00.005+08:00

Went Sunday 2nd August

Roses

Orchids

More orchids

I don't know what these called. Perhaps daisy little cousins

Hibiscus

Silver plant

Mini tomatoes, more for easthetic purposes I believe

Ginger plant flowers

My niece, Isha

The set up for children. Note the funny pose of the foreground subject.

Great fun! The flowers were gorgeous and doing their best to look great under the unrelenting sun. Everything were really beautifully set up but my N80 did not give them justice.

How To Give A Great Man To Man Hug

2009-08-02T20:42:00.000+08:00

General Etiquette:
How To Give A Great Man To Man Hug

Eyeshadows experiments

2009-08-02T03:44:00.003+08:00

Pink, lavender and violet

Bloodshot eyes no less...

Chocolate and gold for smokey effect. Shiny forehead alert.

Lime, green and teal. Shiny forehead alert. Forgive my oily T-zone.

Creamy white and brown on eyelids and waterline, eyes appear bigger than it is.

I will play with my make up when I'm bored. And lately I am bored all the time...

My essentials are powder foundation, lip color and liquid eyeliner. (not mascara like most people) These three things are must haves. The rest would be added in if I feel like it.

For work I would wear ridiculous amount of make up so that by the time I actually reach the office, the layers would melt off revealing the actual muted look. Yes, that's cosmetic science for you. I have to walk for 10 minutes under hot sun daily to get to the office from my parking spot. Unforgiving Malaysian heat.

If I feel so extravagant or for special occasion I will start with concealer and foundation, then powder foundation, eyeshadows, eyeliners (gel/liquid... never pencil) and eyebrow color (pencil/powder) mascara and sometimes with falsies for my lashes. Finish off with lip color, usually lipstick layered with gloss, and finally blush/bronzer on my ample cheeks. All the gunk on my face, 11 products in all, 25% of them would usually be melted off by the time I reach the place or event. Sometimes I wonder why bother. But I guess the act itself is like prepping yourself mentally. You know, like putting on war paint like my sister said.

Brown Eyed Girls Abracadabra

2009-08-01T03:21:00.001+08:00

Wicked dance moves...

Toned down Stage version MV. The usual one is too hot for public viewing =P

Don't you want to sway your hips too? :D

Shiro

2009-07-31T03:20:00.000+08:00

Read

Dengar

2009-07-31T01:24:00.006+08:00

Oh, going back to my roots, listening to Malay songs now. HA HAH.

Sudah, jangan tak sedar diri. Dah ler gemok, idung kembang, itam pulak tu, perasan nak jadi orang putey.

The thing is, I have been dissapointed for a long time for the Malay songs. I stopped listening back in 1995. Before that I actually listened to lots of Malay songs. Come on, back then mana ada Hitz.fm ke, Fly.fm ke. Ko dengar je lah Radio KL ke, Muzik.fm ke, apa apa jelah channel lagu RTM. They have a mix of local and English songs back then. I remember Wind of Change by Scorpions and All That She Wants by Ace of Base were on the top of the chart for like 3 months in a row or something. Crazy =P

After a while I got sick by the same style of composition and melody. Memang naik terjeluwek balik balik benda sama je, tajuk je lain lain... I hated it that much, I forgot most songs that I actually liked back then....

I only remember Roy's Ratnaku, Aris Ariwatan's Lamunan Terhenti and Hattan's Memburu Rindu. Search and Wings are reliable ones. I love them, even now. Pretty sexay Malay songs. HAHA. What am I saying? Sexy Malay is an oxymoron.

Mari Berkaraoke...

Then, suddenly...finally... after over 10 years since I care, indies gone mainstream. HEY!!!! Awesome tune, like mind bogglingly good, so proud to say, these sh*t is from Malaysia, man! Then the pop and ballad stuff also gotten better. Impressive! They did try to improve... finally.

So, here I am tonight.. begrudingly admitting that Faizal Tahir songs are listenable (can't stop imagining the T-shirt incident though) just because I heard him singing live Sports Carnival last Saturday. He was doing a practice skit but I thought, damn, this dude is a pretty serious thing.

And also Nubhan of AF6. He got a pretty good voice too, for that only song he ever sing. Izinkan ku Pergi from Kaer also is not bad. I love the video clip. Aizat the boy that loss all his cuteness not only sing but writes well, and my favourite. HUJAN! This band is utter genius. That is all I can say.

My Malay songs collection isn't big. I think my Japanese songs are even bigger than my Malay ones. It would probably be like 10% of my total collection, but its still there in me Walkman in a little folder called Roots =P

My sister birthday present to me on my 28th birthday! Isn't my sister a darling?

GOOOOOAHGEOUS!

2009-07-29T03:29:00.000+08:00

Fare thee well.

2009-07-27T03:35:00.002+08:00

I'll miss her talent and her style of direction the most. I'll miss how she would potray life in its most naked form. And how she bridges the gap and remind us all that we are a lot of things throughout but at the end of day, still human.

Al-fatihah.

Simple Sunday Lunch

2009-07-27T03:30:00.001+08:00

I simply love this tauhu, people usually put it in Mee Curry. It just soaks up the stew, so when you eat it, the stew will spray out in your mouth.. haha.

I bought a bag of it yesterday and mom made a simple vegetable dish with it. I finished the whole thing in one sitting.

A very healthy meal ;)

Me, as a Weekender

2009-07-27T03:08:00.003+08:00

Watched Half-blood Prince.

Favorite characters will always be Snape and Luna Lovegood. I'll share why, in the future.

The children are growing up in front of our eyes. Weird to think Daniel Radcliffe to be something of a sex symbol since you've been watching him since he was 11... The jawlines are getting more and more developed! Amazing the process of turning a child into an adult.

Also, watched Millenium Actress finally. Satoshi Kon is always ichiban in my heart up there with Miyazaki.

I did go to the Sports Carnival on Saturday. My comments on my Twitter.. yeah.. ehhe.

At least I bought this. Monkey D. Luffy of One Piece phone strap. The pillowlike thing behind him is the display cleaner. I bought one of these 5 years ago in Sarawak, but the character was Tony Tony Chopper.

I left at about 6.00pm, went home picked up my mom and Tehah and went to watch Harry Potter. After movie, went to the market at 1.00am for stocks.

Today, I woke up late but was thinking of getting some make-up stuff that I have ran out off.

Went to nearby Jusco and shopped at Watson and Sasa

I think I went overboard with the eyeliners.

I also ended up buying a set of brushes...

... these purchases inspired me to clean up my makeup stuff...

... and I realised that I have lots of eyeshadows as it is

Well, I'm a gal that needs ALL the help I can get, if you know what I mean!

The stuff I don't have in my arsenal is a translucent powder. Revlon ran out #2, so I coulnd't get one today.

I'll think I elaborate later.

Samurai X: Betrayal

2009-07-25T05:08:00.004+08:00

Nonton Rurouni Kenshin : Betrayal, akhirnya after 5 years.

Snippet, worth 10 minutes of it... (Warning : Graphic bloody scenes and human turned sheesh kebab scenes)

If you don't know Rurouni Kenshin(RK), that means you are not into anime/manga scene. I am not even going to start elaborating on that because RK is THE MOST POPULAR series of its time.

This series has the best opening and ending songs. But its not just for that, the story itself drew me in back then.

As usual, I would be introduced to the series through its manga form. It begins with a goof ball of a man wielding a reverse edge sword. How weird is that. Him wielding a reverse edge sword screams that it is more than meets the eye.

So true enough, his past was revealed throughout the series.

Soon after that the anime starts to air on TV. It was on AXN back then and it was an English dubbed (blurgh!)

Kenshin is awesomely popular with that 'X' shape scar on his left cheek. Even the English title for the series is "Samurai X". Looking at the scar makes you wonder, you don't simply get cut up in the face that way by being the village idiot, (well, maybe you can).

As the series progress you learned more about what a bloody past he left behind and also the origin of the scar unfolds in the OVA Samurai X: Trust & Betrayal

By fluke I watched the Trust bit 5 years ago and have been left hanging ever since. This is Kenshin story way before he became the wanderer and way before Kaoru was in the picture. At this time, it was Tomoe.

Kenshin still sounds like a girl (yes, I know the seiyu is a lady, Mayo Suzukaze)

Why you need a woman to voice a male character? See, its the beauty of the twist in the story. Kenshin is a man with small stature, with a girlish face and long hair. He even has a soft voice. Despite this, he is the most feared bottusai in his time. Its again the aspect of you can't judge a book by its cover. Those kinda sheit pulls me in, see.

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaai....

Enough anime talk. So early in the morning. I have to go to a sports carnival tomorrow. Show my support. I am so damn demotivated, I want to bury my head in the sand!

Queen Magnificent, Flying

2009-07-25T03:16:00.005+08:00

I just hope she recovers soon.

My sister send a photo to me. She and an unrecognisable car. The car that she has been planning to buy.

I asked, Whoah what you're buying it?

She said, Look at d number plate.

...

Had maggi and kopi 'o' ais for dinner again because I had a major shitty day. While eating, I continued my chat with my sister. She took the step and got a new ride and is hit by the pang of missing the old one.

I know, the old one has been very loyal to her, the thing takes her to all the crazy places she goes. Its a 4 wheel-drive disguised as a Proton Iswara.

Not her actual old car, photo borrowed from this dude.

If you have no respect for a National Car, you should know that Silver Blue Spesel Edisen Iswara is in fact a robust machine that can be driven off road on hard rocky terrain, slither through mud, swim across flood water, cruises over grass, floats over sand and has even been taken through a palm plantation like a real trooper. If that's not a good car, I don't know what is!

So I exaggerate, but I don't lie that the car gone through those treatments. It has been a real buddy to my sister.

I'll miss him too but I bet he will find a better owner that won't take him flying over hard rocks and mud :D It is a good time for him to retire. Don't fret too long, enjoy the new one. Drive safe!

Supper at Maktonglow with Dyb. Quarter pounder with cheese anyone?

What diet?

Dapat

2009-07-24T05:22:00.003+08:00

Hari tu dapat buku nota ni...

Islamic Art Museum Malaysia notebook, the art on the cover is actually from the centre page of a single volume Quran originating from Jawa.

It is plain with a small art piece just like the cover at bottom right of each page.

Semalam, dapat pensil dari Indonesia nih.

Sorry, the image ain't so clear. My phone cannot take close up objects.

The image of one of the wayang kulit character. Wayang Kulit spooks me out but this one really shines and pretty small. Cute evokes my mind, but not really, it still leave specks of oddness in my psyche =P. No way I would use this for writing. Perhaps as a cucuk sanggul instead?

Here it is, nestled in its box.

Terima kasih Encik Yankee Doodle for giving me all these shtuff!

Sonic Boom

2009-07-24T04:24:00.003+08:00

While whiling time away looking through dumb pictures of drunk party goers and trashy dysfunctional society as a form of early morning entertainment I discovered something awesome.

Sonic Boom!

Jet image from Wikimedia

Note the cloudy bits around the jet? Its water vapor created due to sonic shock as the jet moves at the speed of sound. Isn't that awesome?

No, I don't stay under the coconut shell (haha) I know that there are jets that can fly at the speed of sound but I am just amazed that the water particle in the air would vaporise due to the sonic shock. Mind boggling to me.

You can try to understand the science, read this.

Pi Approximation Day!

2009-07-23T02:40:00.006+08:00

Ok, ok.

That was yesterday actually. But my body clock is always a few hours behind thanks to my job.

Never heard of Pi Approximation Day? Yeah, first for me too. But it make sense being 22/7. We need to celebrate something everyday, don't we? Lets be nerdy and appreciate the wonder of Pi! (Caution : clicking the link may cause internal haemorrhaging of the brain thanks to crazy methamaticals symbols and formulas).

Well, apparently there was a solar eclipse today, visible in several parts of Asia. It would be rad to see one but it was pretty cloudy. It being " the longest total solar eclipse of the 21st century" makes me feel like I'm missing out something really cool here. Perhaps it is not visible from Malaysia?

On the dinner front, I had Garlic and Cheese Naan today. Naan is a leavened, oven-baked flatbread said Wikipedia.

So you like Garlic Naan and also Cheese Naan. And you can't decided which Naan to have for dinner? Never fear because you can have Garlic Cheese Naan!!!!

If you look closely the bumps on the surface, those are the garlic...

And this is the cheese... blurgh, bursting, melting away.

Naan takes longer time to prepare so I don't usually order this since I only have 45 minutes to enjoy dinner. But I am seriously am sick of the Mamak's but my eating buddy is broke and insist on it until salary day. So, I have another torturous two days to endure.

Ngantuk ngantuk ngantuk. Its raining outside. A b*tch to drive so late in the rain but nice feeling to snuggle up to sleep XD

Thoughts before I sleep

2009-07-22T04:17:00.001+08:00

Gila blogging, gila tweetting, gila photobucketing. Senang! MMS from your mobile! But me think it'll develop into an unhealthy habit = < Tak puas ngadap PC, dok nganta MMS pakai fon pulak. Pastu browsing pakai Opera Mini. Skang tak sure nak download menatang yang Dyb pakai tweeting from her fon tu... Because kalau pakai tu tak payah tunggu Twitter load kat Opera Mini kan? Easier and faster. Ye tak? Biasalah manusia. Nak senang, senang lagi.

Hujan lagikah nanti? Kedengaran guruh dari kejauhan. Best kalau hujan malam. Tapi selatan Sarawak tengah kemarau ni. Tanaman tak menjadi. Kesian diorang. Tak paham aku kalau Malaysia bumi bertuah ni taknak buat apa-apa nak kurangkan beban. Mintak hujan turun cepat. Jangan kemarau lama sangat.

Ini diupdate pakai N80 setiaku using Email2blogger.

Tilapia is an evil fish

2009-07-21T23:34:00.009+08:00

I'm turning this blog into a food blog, surely. I guess my need to channel as much positive energy by writing all the good things in my life would mean I would always be talking about food. Food makes me happeh. 'nuff sez.

This is lunch ibu cooked today. What are those mysterious things in the bowls and plates. Look quite alien from here ;)

The lighting is bad, the angle could be better and I only use a 3MP camera phone, so ~~bare~~ bear with me.

Top left is familiar, no? That's right! It's yesterday's lunch... my family excel in leftovers and recycling food. There's still lots of yesterday's pari, which has been reheated. Ocras were added in because masak asam podeh is nice when you put ocras in, its like PBJ - they go together.

Top right is Tilapia masak lomak cili api. Tilapia is a fresh water fish. My sister hates it. The smell she can't take. Its not exactly the fish's smell, its more like the smell of mud that would stuck on it. Ibu is particular of this she would have her vinegar or lime arsenal to make sure this fish ain't stinkin' up her dish!

Tilapia image borrowed from here

The flesh is white and soft and I would say in term of taste, its quite plain. It basically absorbs the herb and spices used to cook it. Which is why it is important to make sure that it is thoroughly cleaned because you may ended up with a pot of mud smelling fish.

Tilapia has a nice texture and is not fatty at all compared to fresh water fish like Baung (fresh water catfish family) Tilapia to me is not merely tasty but it evokes fond memories of growing up through hard labour (the hard labour did not involve me though, I just watched) The masak lemak this time is with tempe (soybean cake), which is great!

Tempe image borrowed from here

You can also accompany the fresh water fish with acidic accompaniments such as belimbing sayur or young mangos.

Belimbing sayur image borrowed from here

Young mango image borrowed from here

Tilapia is also good by just frying. The rule goes that when the big ones are cut into two, the top part including the head is best to be cooked as masak lemak, while the tail part can be fried, which is the bottom right dish. For those who can't stand the spiciness of masak lemak cili api, can also eat Tilapia by frying with tumeric and salt. Its a simple, innocent dish which I always mentally connect to children. Such a no fuss food.

Bottom left is sambal ikan bilis. Its green. I know. A sambal ikan bilis by any other name would taste as hot.

Ibu calls it sambal orang gila, referring the cook as the madman =P . So is a neighbour who did this dish recently. Because normally it would be red right? Like the sambal I ate with the nasi lemak at KFC.

This version is green instead because its purely made of cili padi/cili api. I imagined it would taste different or would kill me in a few seconds once it touches my tongue but frankly, it tasted just like the red hybrids. I guess because Ibu made sure that the chilly paste is thoroughly cooked. Your tongue might be able to take it but not your stomach if its not cooked well. This one had ikan bilis (anchovies), onion, and special guest star, petai!

Petai image borrowed... from somewhere.

I don't eat petai on weekdays because I don't want to stink up the stall for the next person when I do the business at work.

What can I say, ibu is the queen of sambal among other things (rendang, dodol... and on and on and on) Sedap sampai petala langit kelapan. I don't know how to describe it. Its perfect, everytime. The heat, the ikan bilis, the onion, the oil. Everything seems to be like in perfect harmony in your mouth.

Btw, I left work after 3 hours in. Mom had her hypo spell today. She cooked these and she had a hypoglicemic spell. Mom don't enjoy her own cooking, and believe it, she is a picky eater. Nothing must be too sweet to her palate. It must be just nice so any Kelantanese food she will not take, except for the kuihs.

If not because of an urgent meeting, I skipped work entirely today. I hate to use the excuse but seriously family is number one on my list. I drop everything else when my mom needs me. And the fact that the office people excused me to go home so easily is a plus point that makes me stuck there. Such an agonising dilemma.

Oh well, that is a different story. Since mom not up to her own cooking, dinner I took her out to her favourite makan place. We had laksa, nasi goreng USA (which is Nasi goreng daging merah plus bulls eye egg makes it a USA fried rice XD ) and tomyam campur. No picture because my phone went dead.

MYR 50

2009-07-21T23:07:00.002+08:00

Didn't see this one coming so there was a weird moment at the ATM when I was expecting the usual 50's, but seeing something different at the slot. Took it out and thought, macam duit mainan je. Such an unpatriotic opinion! Apparently its being released since last Friday. This is what happens when you don't keep up with the local news.

- this blog update originally done via N80 through Mail2Blogger. Testing success! Edit done on PC via blogger.com

Pari asam podeh

2009-07-21T02:35:00.005+08:00

My mom, who I fondly calls Ibu is the best cook I've ever known. You would probably say the same thing about your own mom but I really mean that my mom is the best cook ever because, most people I know who tried her food can't stop gabbing about it to me to the point of embarrassment, of course right after the blossoming pride and all.

You have to see how big I am to understand what a great job she has done.

Since I almost always talk about the food I normally eat at dinner at the mamak's and my other favourite food joints, I should be featuring what she cook for the day.

While she would go all out in her entertaining mode, her home cooking is pretty humble since there's only three of us at home and as I would put it, makan nasik berlauk, bukan makan lauk bernasik :P

Today, she did ikan pari masak asam podeh.

She don't know this but I love this dish a lot. Just any asam pedas would do if its her cooking. She doesn't know I like it because if she does, this would be the only dish I would see for the next 2 weeks, so lets keep it a secret OK. The ikan pari (rays to you mortals hah hah hah haaa) is the perfect fish for this dish. And being my mom its important that the pieces isn't cut small. She loves big chunky pieces in her cooking (macam anak dia jugak, chunky)

In my life, the only other way a ray is cooked is by frying (selalu tak laku nih, it would ended up becoming stale and smelling like urine after awhile). But I prefer masak asam pedas for this fish. Ibu will also add different kind of spices in and not forgetting belacan (aka prawn paste). Lauk ni, kalau tinggal kuah pun aku makan XD memang best!

Enough of masak asam pedas, but still on food.

Had a chat at office today about the baldy guy who eats anything bizarre. Andrew Zimmern his name on Discovery Travel and Living

My colleague said that apparently while he was in Singapore, he ate a few bizarre food and one of it was.... *drumrolls*

Rojak...

I don't know what so bizarre about boiled egg, tofu, water chestnut, cucumber, flour cakes and chicken in a peanut sauce... This one accompanied with my prerequisite Kopi 'O' Ais.

I am following Awan Okinawa Berlalu. I'm a fan albeit a silent one way back then. Just suddenly remembered her again yesterday so I googled and found her blog. Thought I would say hi this time.

I think I need to expand my Opera's speeddial from 4 x 4 to 4 x 5 O_O

I love Sushi!

2009-07-20T00:11:00.012+08:00

I'm broke, but I since mom not in today, I decided its a good day to go Japanese!

I was thinking for Alamanda but I opted to the closer Jusco instead as I was not in the spirit to visit a mall just for Sushi.

Restaurant of choice... SUSHI KING!

I'm a big Japanese fan if you can't tell yet. I don't know why. I just think they are really crazy people with culture and mentality that mixes the old and the new, with very distinctive lines at the same time. Its just nuts. At the same time, I'm still haunted by the autrocities committed during WW2, so its a mixed feeling but like I said, a big fan anyhow! One of my dreams in life to visit Hokkaido, Tokyo, Kyoto and Okinawa, spending at least a month in that country. Which is almost impossible because its very expensive and if it does happen, my diet will be reduced to raw fishes only while I'm there =P

Not to be off tangent too long, my lunch at Sushi King were...

Udon is my favourite, its fat, smooth and chewy. I'm also a big beef fan. So beef and fat noodles combination in a cute pot is a perfect meal for me.

I had a big sushi craving so while waiting, I filled myself up on the sushi from the conveyer belt. I love salmon, because its delicious. It being healthy food is a bonus. I have great respect for Salmon. I watched a lot of National Geographic Special growing up. To me, they are hardy fishes, who work hard for a living. Very spirited, so it tastes really good too. The raw salmon tastes fresh and great while the smoked one has a slight salty taste but I had two plates of each anyways. So greedy XD

The cuttlefish, ika in Japanese is something that I would eat when I feel I'm up to it. Due to its smell I would sometimes feel like I want to throw up once it is at the back of my throat. But like I said, if I feel I want the thrill of it, I will eat it. I just had one plate, if I go for second I would start to feel it crawling up my throat. But I like the texture because its smooth and chewy. I just put extra wasabi on so that the smell wouldn't bother me much. But I put too much wasabi on the cuttlefish today and had an out of body experience when the fume crawled up my nasal passage. I could literally feel it travelling from my throat, up my nose and up through my nasal cavities... my cheeks, forehead. It was gooood.

Another favourite of mine is inari. Sweet dried tofu. I love chewy stuff so I can't help liking the dried tofu. And its being sweet really agrees to my tastebuds.

I wish there were these on the belt and I'm too lazy to order them, not sure if its not in season or what.

Green soybeans is really healthy and refreshing to eat. Its almost addictive at how you have to pop it out of its pods and into your mouth. Being delicious doesn't hurt either.

I love this sushi because the ginger and the marinated mackerel is really fresh and the fish texture is slightly chewy. You can really taste the marinated mackerel juice as you chew :D

I didn't go alone of course although, I had done so before. Tehah had these...

I like the golden ball too, its a fun food, kids love it. But I was not in the mood for it today.

I usually avoid the stuff they make under the maki section of the menu, because they are quite not so adventurous.

July is the dessert promotion month.

I don't usually buy the ice cream. They are really nice but selling at RM7.50 a piece I would usually skip the desert. But I am feeling rather indulgent today so I bought these...

In me and Tehah hands...

When you buy the Macha and Jumbo ice cream, you get to buy the Taiyaki at RM3.50. I just let myself get talked into buying them.

Macha is actually an Indian word the locals used here to address young men, I think its colloquial. So, I find that really funny so I insist to spell it Matcha instead.

The Japanese are big on this green tea, read bean concoction. But thank goodness no Salmon or Squid Ink Ice Cream on sale as Sushi King... See this blog to learn more on Japanese Ice Cream.

They used to have a black sesame ice cream, the wafer is black, shiny black. Its almost blue. They don't sell them anymore. Its delicious and its not often you can put something so oddly colored in your mouth without fearing for your life.

Hmm... just by going to Sushi King today, I created one long log on it. I go to Sushi King relatively often. What can I say, I love sushi. I even have a member card. This is basically what I would eat here anyway. Drink of choice will always be cool green tea, because I hate eating with hot drinks.

Getting late, I wanna take a bath and get clean up before bed.

Spectacular.... spectacles

2009-07-19T02:09:00.004+08:00

My left eye is blurring pretty bad and its disorienting when driving at night. Lights will break up into funny shapes until I close the left eye and everything focuses again. Although the right eye is still normal, I don't walk around with one eye closed. With a blurry left eye vision, it totally blurs up everything and its a bitch driving at night.

My left eye has always been slightly off. My vision is at 50-20 or something. It doesn't require a spectacle but it always bothers me because I know the difference of a sharp line when everything is in focus. I borrowed my sister's specs once, and see the world in a fresh, sharpened way.

I have always been proud at how good my eyesights were. I can read roadsigns like crazy distance away, at least recognising the pattern of the word to guess correctly what it is. But I don't think I can do as well. While I love the idea of wearing spectacles because in my personal opionion they are dead sexy and makes you look intelligent, I rather have my own vision without any additional help. But you can't exactly fix this problem can you and lasic surgery is not cheap...

I don't know. I'm thinking of visiting that cheapo specs booth in Grand Union to check my eyes. Or I think I wait until salary out because if I have to get one, I need to get it from Focus Point or England Optical if I want my company to cover it.

Tersedak!

2009-07-16T04:06:00.004+08:00

This is from Engrish.com now Engrishfunny.com. I can't stop laughing reading them, these three I laughed the hardest. I copied the title and the sub-title as well because it really injects the ridiculousness of the Engrish!

Proof That You Don’t Need Words For Engrish

Step 1: See diagram
Step 2: See diagram
Step 3: See diagram
Step 4: ?
Step 5: Profit

Engrish Photo By: izverycool

You Know Better?

Do not put any stuff in the toilet, please. Especially like sanitary towels, those stuff bring lots of tears into our eyes. When it gets clogged once, oh my!! you know better? Thanks a lot.

Engrish Photo By: Christy B.

Batman Begins

When being a child Bruce Wayne had witnessed with his own eyes the fact his parents of millionaire were killed cruelly. So affected his strong desire of Revenging his parents. However, God had never given him a chance to fulfill his will. Following the advice of Raws Al-Ghul – the chief of Ninja Group, Bruce come to Gete, which was a corrupted city filled with various crime groups. Bruce found a basement under his villa that turned him into another person: Spiderman. With this mask Spiderman stroke all criminal activates and criminals everywhere. Such as Tougon, the chief of mafia, Dr. Jackstraw, the abnormal drug trafficker, even a mysterious opponent quite familiar with him

Engrish Photo by Greg J

see more Engrish

Hazy day

2009-07-16T03:20:00.003+08:00

Such a hazy day today. If only the air doesn't feel as humid, I would fancy myself in Genting or something. The visibility is pretty bad too, I tried to capture it on my N80 but... I don't know, it looked like some random scene photos.

The building behind the middle lampost should look clearer on normal days.

Uuuh... random picture of alamanda shrubs. Yeah, my parking spot is pretty scenic despite being so damn annoying and far. I got another parking ticket today for displaying outdated ticket! YIPPIE!!!

Dinner today, we had a pot luck which I had a good time eating. There were chicken, some mysterious other stuff, and pasta which was delicious. But, no picture since its a no no to take photo @ my workplace.

But... I did went for a late night supper @ 2.00am of...

Nasi Lemak!!! With Pepsi Max...

Where else if not at KFC!

Its a pretty decent Nasi Lemak if you ask me. I can't remember what it cost (I also bought 4 large Cheezy Wedges to take home) The rice isn't too lemak, the cucumber is fresh and cut pretty thick, the boiled egg is like a boiled egg, the friend chicken is a nice addition. Just the sambal. The make very thick sambal. The ikan bilis is delicious but this batch I guess had a tad too much salt and I am the salty kind.

I finished all of it of course, because my momma taught me never to waste food! But overall, it is a good nasi lemak and the portion is decent too. Of course, it wouldn't compare to your corner stall nasi lemak with sambal kerang and sambal sotong options but for something different in the early morning at KFC, you can try this.

Because home has some stove issue at the moment and I am lazy to double back to the market (which opens 24 hours) I went to 7 Eleven to buy some food stuff for tomorrow's breakfast.

2 loaves of bread
2 bottles of milk (1 choco, 1 fresh)
2 packets of peanuts
1 packet cream cracker biscuit
A small margerine tub
A small peanut butter tub

... cost me RM40.00!!! I know this is sign of age when I did a mental calculation and deduced that if indeed I actually doubled back to the market, I would only spend RM15.00 on the same thing, not to be extreme.

I know, I know. Its 7 Eleven, what do you expect. But its funny how wide the counter girl eyes were when I parked in front of the shop. I guess I was too fast and too furious at the break paddle =P

On the last note, I try not to believe in old wives tale. But earlier today my left hand was suddenly itchy for no reason at all. I rubbed it once and try not to think about it much. But when I went to my car, I got a parking ticket. Can't help it if the damn machine being so anal on what kind of coins is accepted. This is my second ticket, totalling RM120 in all. Gila kau! Duit terbang just like that! So sad :(

Talking about cats...

2009-07-15T03:08:00.006+08:00

I am such a cat person. I love cats. Heck, I even play with alley cats if they are friendly and clean enough. But I'm a busy person and I have commitment issues when it comes to cats because I hate the sense of lost you feel should the cat go missing one day, which is often in my experience growing up. I remember crying so hard whenever a pet cat goes missing or even worse, dies. Its like a mental issues now. Cats are unreliable, don't love them too much.

Even when I have a cat now, I just deal with it like ok, feed it, light pat on the head, watching its antics from the side, gentle stroke on its back and that's it. But really, I am a huge cat lover and would have a choice of owning a cat, I want one of these..

Picture from Animal Pictures Archive

It is a Japanese Bobtail. Characterised by a bob of a tail (not crooked or anything, just a tiny nub of a tail) and thicker, strong hind legs. It also has an extremely charming personality for a cat.

The thing is, there was a stray that came to our house one day back when I was in secondary school that decided to make itself at home. Back then, I have no idea that it is in fact a rather rare breed. I just thought that this cat looks like a rabbit, so I called it Cabbit (yeah, silly huh). It became my pet for a long long time and its such a social little thing, he loves hanging around with me. Until one fateful day, it didn't come home for a few days. Being a male cat, I had thought he was making his rounds, sowing some wild oats. But after a while he was away longer than usual and finally clicked in my mind that I need to get worried. I had thought that he had enough of us and decided to find a better home.

Until my neighbour relayed a sad news that she found his remains after he was ran over by a car. She had 'kindly' threw his body into a rubbish truck too and it basically happened a week before she broke the news to my mom.

Since I didn't exactly saw him die, I didn't bawled my eyes out. But a loss non the less because like I said, for a cat, it is a very social thing and would love to hang out with me, sitting behind my shoulders and all. I miss that stupid cat and I still can imagine him being white with spotted black on his head and back, something like the picture. (The one in the picture is calico, what I had was black and white)

I only realised that its in fact a breed a couple of years back while going through an online cat lover site. *sigh*

I was watching more cute cats antics on You Tube, thus this nostalgic talks on cats. This one is very cute. I guess its being Japanese upped a few notches on cuteness level, hahaha!

The whole set of videos of Moire the cute kitteh is here

Maggi Goreng Ayam with Sirap Limau

2009-07-15T02:18:00.002+08:00

The dinner take haha! This is getting into an obligatory update what I had for dinner...

The same thing I always had almost every night...

Maggi Goreng Ayam... what a healthy choice.

But wait! There is a difference today, albeit slight although you can't see it in the photo above.

It is...

Sirap Limau, instead of Kopi 'O' Ais!!

Actually, I am growing sick eating at the same place day in day out. I wanted to eat western stuff namely grilled chicken with whipped potato at The Walk. But my dinner buddy is broke, so I have to deal with this for another week. Blurgh!

Talking Miaows?!

2009-07-14T03:28:00.001+08:00

This is too cute to pass by. I died watching this and went to kawaii neko heaven!

Cumilnya misheard lyric innew

2009-07-14T03:11:00.001+08:00

High quality entertainment at 3.00am on a Tuesday morning.

Speed Dial

2009-07-14T02:49:00.003+08:00

Changed my speed dial from setting 3 x 4 to 4 x 4. Check out before and after.

Before

After

It makes the windows smaller, but I got my favorite stuff on one window. I love Opera!

Nasi goreng pattaya and fried chicken with Kopi 'O' ais

2009-07-14T01:45:00.003+08:00

Since this blog is supposed to be about me loving to eat and sleep, I share you what I had for dinner today.

Nasi goreng pattaya and fried chicken with Kopi 'O' ais.

Today I eschew from typicalness by ordering fried rice instead of fried maggi. It was in fact a very heavy meal as it is but I decided, throw in a fried chicken, why won't you? I was feeling very greedy today, actually I was damn hungry for some reasons. I was like five on the Richter scale of hunger earlier so I got greedy so yeah.

The mortgages kids that always visited the same place as I do but would be sitting at a different table has taken to a habit of looking at my orders when the mamak brought it to my table. They will go oooh! aaaah! Look at me darling, this takes a lot of money to maintain yeah?!

Its definitely something heavy for lunch break, I know! But thank goodness I didn't fall asleep after dinner since I was so busy going all over the place so my presence is 'felt'. Haha, personal joke aside, this is what I had for dinner. YUUMM!

The blue hole

2009-07-13T03:13:00.010+08:00

I don't know what I watched today but it really caught my imagination and its really amazes me how such places exist on our beautiful planet.

The Great Blue Hole of Belize.

Mind boggling how it can be a perfect circular shape.

Actually, this reminds me of another mind boggling nature images which was forwarded to me by Dyb.

Awesome, awesome, awesome!

Maggi Goreng Ayam dengan Kopi 'O' Ais. Nonton B13

2009-07-12T17:43:00.003+08:00

This is what I had last Friday if I'm not mistaken. In fact, if I do go to Rahim's, this is what I would typically order. Not the healthiest dinner set, I know but its close to being a comfort food I need to last me the rest of the night.

Anyhow, last friday, the noodles came to me with a surprisingly large amount. It's a lot. Usually, it's half of the amount you see in the picture. Like, the cook got angry or something and put in two packets instead of one. Which is fine either way because I finished them all! Yeah I did! Had another tough day at work, so I am gorging down food like nobody's business.

I finished this while watching a French movie... what a choice for a Mamak's right? Well, its actually B13. All parkour action, its one of those action movies you must see.

At least watch this just to check out how ripped David Belle is. *swoon*

How to eat a mangosteen

2009-07-12T17:21:00.001+08:00

Dining Etiquette: How To Eat A Mangosteen

I can't remember actually having to go through a dining etiquette eating the delicious Queen of Fruits. Press it between your hands and voila! Pry the two halves away and eat the sweet, soft inside. Of course, this would come with awful purplish juices that should it stain your favourite top, you can say bye bye to the top for good. Heh hee

Catching up on things, by the look of it... A LOT

2009-07-12T00:13:00.018+08:00

It's just so bizzare that although I am online almost 24 hours a day, seven days a week, I still don't update the blog as often as I should. I have to admit except for my angstiness at work, there isn't much to write about... or is it? Should I begin for what I did to my money last month?

I bought this

Philips SalonDry Pro 2200W HP4991

I have been looking for a salon grade dryer for a long time. I needed the higher watt found on the salon dryer as this will minimise the damage to hair when drying and styling. Unlike what the usual home grade dryer offers that would only go as high as 1500W/1800W, this dryer goes as high as 2200W. So I got one of these babies which come with a diffuser and a concentrator. Its humongous, compared to my relatively new Panasonic EH5934 but weighs lighter than the smaller dryer. Go figure. Performance wise, I have been very busy to actually sit down and try to do a proper styling other than blow drying my hair and straightening the kinky roots. However, I do noticed that it does its work quicker than the generic dryer with lower wattage.

This dryer comes with 6 lever for heat and speed and also a button for cold shots to set your style. (I am beginning to sound like Michelle Phan now)

Not only that, I was in a rather experimental mode when I also bought this

Philips Salon Multistylist 10 in 1 HP4698

Alright, I am a pure amateur in term of hair styling so I have a mixed feeling with this product because I have been trying to create curls in my hair but have not been satisfied with the result. This styler basically comes with 8 different styler to create whatever style you fancy. I am either not having enough knowledge to use this or the heat is not strong enough. I have been making references on YouTube and Video Jug. They make it look so easy but my hair tend to become undone even when I don't touch it while its cooling down. But my hope is still there. I think I just need to be more brave with the styling product (hairspray, mousse, cream, gel) which I hate to put in my hair but if that needs to be done, I will experiment further and update if I am successful.

Don't you find it weird that I am so busy trying to curl up my hair when I actually rebonded it straight from its naturally curly self? Mengada-ngada tak?

On the entertainment side, quite recently in the program of movies and drama exchange with Dyb, she gave me a Korean Yaoi drama, Antique. Ok, yeah so its one of the genre I read if it is a manga... or an anime. But she thought I would appreciate the movie more than she does I guess so she gave me a copy. I am thankful for that ;)

In Antique, the genius patissier is played by Kim Jae Wook. Yes, this pretty boy below that somehow reminded me of Kimura Takuya.

Kim Jae Wook brooding :)

To me, he is very attractive in that girlish sort of way so I was wondering how he looks like in his other works, so I googled it and look what I found...

... last year, while flipping a tween magazine that my niece brought home, I saw this serial korean drama that caught my attention and been wanting to watch eversince, it is called...

COFFEE PRINCE!!!

The trailer ~

Oh, where do I start on this one? This is the most hyped about Korean drama when it came out but I only started out last month and falling in love with it really really hard.

Yeah, Kim Jae Wook, is one of the coffee boys in here but he was not the lead...

Go! Go! Goh Eun Chan!

...she is, the lovely Yoon Eun Hye as Goh Eun Chan, who is actually really, a beautiful actress and model...

Yeah, all three of them are Yoon Eun Hye because one is not enough!

Looks totally different! I think she shed some pounds last year. Look at this commercial.

She looks amazing! Although I prefer a fuller Yoon Eun Hye but I guess a star got to do what a star got to do to stay marketable.

Coffee Prince was done back in 2007. The story began with Goh Eun Chan going around town with a Honda Cub delivering Korean noodles to a ladies public bathhouse and got mistaken as a boy. A mayhem understandably began soon after. See, Eun Chan is a hardworking girl which does multiple jobs to make ends meet for her family. Due to this rough lifestyle, she appears boyish and kept being mistaken as a boy.

Through a series of somewhat unfortunate events, she ended up working with a man who thinks that she is really a boy at a coffee shop.

He is the coffee shop manager, Choi Han Kyul potrayed by the ever so talented Gong Yoo.

Wet stained shirt intended, part of the story.

And I am besotted with him @_@, or his character as Han Kyul. He is an extremely good actor. Expressions and body language says it all. Good direction of the story really helps as well. See, he is not that good looking by standard (admittedly, very well build, so plus plus points on that) but you will get drawn to the character as you watch the series. Oh, and he is tall too. 184cm is pretty tall to me. Good 14cm taller than I am XD. Can't really tell from the picture, can you?

What I really love about Coffee Prince is of course the good story line. Its basically around the exploits of the two characters Han Kyul and Eun Chan falling in love with each other through a weird love polygon. But the hitch is, Han Kyul is thinking that he is going out of his mind being in love with Goh Eun Chan because he is not gay while Eun Chan tries to keep her secret as long as she can in fear of losing Han Kyul. Yeah weird, I know! All of this messed up mumbo jumbo pseudohomo relationship while trying to bring in profits of the coffee shop that is about to go bankrupt. Now, that's story telling I tell you!

And the coffee shop is really cute and you will have a new appreciation of a barista... not your average Starbucks kind :D

You got to love Gong Yoo's acting as Han Kyul as he goes through the phases of his love to Eun Chan. I will post my favourite scenes later when I managed to get all the series.

Oh, Kim Jae Wook in this series is such a taciturn, so different from his character in Antique. But he still have beautiful silky hair and lean body ;)

On a different note, Kim Jae Wook first dancing scene at the club in Antique oddly resembles my Slam Dunk Fanfic of Rukawa Kaede dancing written 6 years ago. You know, when he was wearing that sheer top. Mine was black shirt with a tank top underneath XD Its like, the animated version of my fic or something. Cool and weird at the same time. You would wonder what kind of fanfics I used to write ^_~ HO HO HO HO HO HO HO!!!

Right now, I am obsessing on Michelle Phan educational make up and skin care tutorials on YouTube. This girl is so pretty and damn talented as well. A geek too! What a perfect package. Go see and be enlightened!

I am also loving Little Britain and my favourite, Daffyd and his I'm the only gay in the village skit. You gotta love that tight, tight, tight costume he wears.

That's it for now. Its a pretty long entry with loads of linkages, pictures and video. Hope Blogger won't mess it up! See you soon on my next update :D

Want, want, want

2009-06-22T01:55:00.001+08:00

I need a router and a wireless adapter of sort. I also want a netbook. I have my PC, but now I want mobility. We are never satisfied with what we have. Always chasing, reaching out to the next thing. That includes me, how sad is that. I also want that salon grade hair dryer I saw @ jusco today and the hair styler. Both will set me back by about RM350. Happening next week.

This Sonicgear Earpump is wicked. It blocks out all external noises. Just me and my music.

- updated via N80

How insightful

2009-06-21T23:51:00.000+08:00

You Want to Impress Strangers

You want strangers to think you're attractive. You want to be seen as gorgeous and sexy.

You want your friends and family members to think you're smart. You like been seen as insightful and wise.

You are at your most playful when you are around people you don't know well. You're more serious around those you're close to.

You let strangers see parts of you right away, but you believe in keeping some things private.

You don't become close to many people. You only let people you've gotten to know very well in.

Who Do You Want to Impress?

Healthy Shoujo Manga Goodness

2009-06-21T23:27:00.003+08:00

Highschool Shoujo manga is the way to go.

Read Koukou Debut - mindless fun-ness of a girl out of luck in love but landed a good looking but private boy in high school. Yeah.

Just noticed that Gakuen Alice is on One Manga, but reading Desire Climax. The title caught the imagination...

Highschool life is so fun in manga. To sum up mine, it was an awkward five years of my life, I mayhap complaint from time to time but no issues, 80% of world populations appears to hate their high school life. I would say that I am rather... indifferent.

Twitting and Facebooking

2009-06-18T03:17:00.001+08:00

I got myself on Twitter and Facebook. I want to get connected to certain friends only but hell the world the ones that comes along the way. Hahahahaha.

So I am obliviously skipping through the minefield =P

The depressed and the fantastic

2009-06-15T00:12:00.003+08:00

This video cheer me up~~~~~

I'm depressed for a few reasons. Tomorrow back to work and my sister gone back to Sarawak but she will be back in two months time for Raya so all is good, really. Looking back the days been pretty well spent. I enjoyed them. So when they asked tomorrow, how was the long leave? I will say "It was FANTASTIC"

Akhirnya

2009-06-04T03:27:00.002+08:00

Connected with Jaring Flite Wireless.

pouts

2009-05-27T02:59:00.003+08:00

Favourite past time : Net surfing, manga reading, video gaming

Miss : The small 14" TV

Favourite winding down activity : Playing We Love Katamari

Tension keje, so driving home thinking "Man, be nice if I can play that crazy game again". Its so mindlessly fun, with a happy background music. I love all of the track, its just so nice, fun, like cotton candy, like colourful cloud, like, all the happy thoughts in the world.

So I tried plugging my old PS2 to the big TV, but its not working! I missed my little one, which I loaned to my brother since his big TV is not giving out red hue anymore, everything is blue and yellow. By the way, it is not fixable so I don't really know if I'm even going to get my little TV back. *sniff*

So, now I am reading Baby Pop, since I finished off Hotaru no Hikari yesterday. Latest episode yet to be published =P I've finished up until what they have there.

I like that Hotaru no Hikari since I am something like that (I bet I am like 75% of the working female populace of Japan?) that I am turning into a dried fish. Haha ikan masin engko! Lazat! So, the story caught the imagination with the fact that suddenly, you are given two choices in love O_O well, this kind of hidup mati choices always comes at the same time lar, just like my life. *sigh* of course real life ain't getting that good. But can you really choose between a younger man who is ernestly in love with you or an older man that annoys you but can be so comfortable when you are together?

Keh keh keh. All these josei mangas getting to me =P

I really can't wait for the next episode. Apparently, they have already turned it into a real life drama. If I can get a faster broadband connection, I'm getting it damnit!!!!

For now, I am settling for Baby Pop. What a title. Sounds like aiskrim patah you get when you were little, you know that thing that is thin in the middle, you can pop it into two if its frozen enough... Nevermind.

Baby Pop is about a girl with her stepfather which was 7 years younger than her mother, living together after the death of this said mother on their honeymoon.

Garr!!! Incestuous relationship alert!

I don't really know yet what the story heading to. I just read part 1 where the girl decided she is indeed going to stay with her idiotic stepfather instead of flying of to USA with her real dad who had neglected her since his divorce. But knowing Yayoi Ogawa, who did Kimi Wa Petto you will never know...

Saya nak baca Kimi Wa Petto.

Rasa macam nak serang kedai tu esok so I can finally put it to rest that I can use Wimax or not. I kept seeing it all over the place in SK, teasing me, come get some.

At least I can use the time productively, instead of waiting the page to load half the time.

On a different note, I have stopped aging since 10 years ago. This is the proof =P

You Act Like You Are 19 Years Old

You are a teenager at heart. You don't quite feel like a grown up yet, but you don't feel like a kid.

You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

You're quite rebellious, and you don't like being told what to do. You like to do things your way.

You have your own unique style, taste in music, and outlook on life.

What Age Do You Act?

What I won!!!

2009-05-23T01:44:00.003+08:00

Pemalas seperti aku

2009-05-17T18:07:00.006+08:00

Being a typical lazy bum who rather be doing something else instead of cleaning up (shopping, sight-seeing, net surfing, sleeping, eating...) my room has turned unlivable since the last time I actually bothered to clean up, which was last month.

Since I am a lazy bum but would rather live like a human instead of a pig, I decided to clean the room section by section.

The first being the spot I hang out most of the time, lately.

The Ground Zero

Hell, even I'm scared looking at this before picture. For the past few days it has been rather cluttered and well - messy. But today, it has reached it's lowest of low, you must be wondering how can I stand that and even could type in that kind of environment. Does not even have an elbow space to be normal. But there you go. After you got used to it you tend to ignore it but really, now after I have cleaned up, the mess was pretty sick to look at O_O

This is after I cleaned up. So its not a major makeover, Casa Impian or Deco Bersama Eric thing, but now it look more like a computer desk, instead of a dumpster.

We have been staying in the same house for the last 29 years. And the type of natural hoarder like us, we tend to build up on our things. Note the stuff under the desk, boxes and boxes of things. God knows what in there now.

Wallpapers and fonts

2009-05-17T02:32:00.004+08:00

Current Playlist :

Extreme Ways - Moby
I Want You - Common feat. will.i.am
A Little Less Conversation - Elvis vs. JXL

Tonight, as most nights I would spend online downloading something downloadable using my pathetic dial up connection.

For the past few days, its the wallpaper.

This wallpaper is downright kawaii. Art by Range Murata, his subjects are usually nubile young things, I believe he has lolicon.

I love this one as well. Art by Takeshi Okazaki, G rated. Essence of the pure and the innocent.

Girls are more visually pleasing than boys ;D

Today, I am trying to download fonts that I love, there were two main ones one the small fonts which I found here, and also at that site, I stumbled across fontalicious! Like long lost friend *sniff*

With these two fonts, I suddenly remember this script font that is elegant and grungy at the same time, was thinking hard what it was called until I remember that I used it for my old diary so I just tried my luck!

Lo and behold! My diary is still up! Shocker! All the way from 2007!!!

The title font is from (r)ecife, I actually put it at the side bar where I got all the thingamajigs. I love how I designed my old diary :D

Once upon a time (r)ecife and fontalicious has their own website. But if you are a font whore like me, you can still download them at the font sites 1 & 2.

I [heart]...

2009-05-12T03:34:00.003+08:00

Series : Dirty Sexy Money

Sitcom : Samantha Who

Hunk : Jason Momoa

Spiro

2009-05-08T03:42:00.005+08:00

Masa kecik dulu, pernah beli benda tu. Ada acuan dia, pastu ada piring piring berlubang lubang.

Bukan acuan kuih maruku da! Dulu tak tau apa ke namanya but now I know its called SPIROGRAPH!

My default browser is Opera. Since I have been using Opera Mini for a while on my N80, I love it so much, I think I'm gonna stick with Opera with my Computer.

Opera ni pulak, ada Widgets (I guess its like Google's Gadget) which is small and useful programs. One of it is Spirograph! I love this thing so much! I downloaded a bunch of Widgets but I think the Spirograph the best. Something to fool around when life gets a little too insane for comfort.

Behold! The spiros! I think you gonna see more of it in the future. I used to make a catalogue of these!

P1 W1MAX, Pedal Works, Schuez and whatnot~

2009-05-08T03:01:00.003+08:00

I want P1 W1MAX

Yang tak lucunya, there's no coverage yet in my housing area. Yang peliknya pulak, there is in fact an agent somewhere nearby which does not add up. Yang memberikan harapannya pulak they are available at the housing area 5km away. That should mean, there'll be some 'reja reja' connection somewhere kan?

I'm going to find out as soon as gaji keluar this month. Perhaps that Friday before I send my car to workshop. Dapat yang paling basic je dulu jadilah, I'm not a heavy user anymore. No time meh. But at least I won't be tortured with this awfully slow connection.

Oh and yeah, I am not over my shoes topic - I am so going to ISETAN KLCC to check them plus size shoes. Huuu!! Gonna be burning some holes in me pocket!

Want and lust

2009-05-07T03:13:00.005+08:00

Dah ada Computer, sebok nak beli tah hapa hapa tah lagi. Next Pikom PC Fair is between 31st July to 2nd August.

Buat masa ni, berangan dulu.

Kingston DDR2 KVR800 RAM - 2GB 92.00
Sonic Gear EVO 3 PRO Speaker 159.00
Logitech QuickCam S5500 130.00
SonicGear DM150 Long Neck Mic 15.00
Logitech Clearchat Premium PC 49.00
Canon Pixma MX308 All in One Printer - P/S/C/F, PictBridge 355.00
KOSS Ectron E70N UPS + AVR 185.00
WD Caviar Green (32M) SATA - 1TB 345.00
Asus EN9600GT (SLI) - 512MB / 256bit 430.00
WD Elements Desktop Portable HDD - 1TB 388.00
20" Acer P205H Wide LCD Monitor 425.00

Aku juga telah membeli sepasang kasut from a colleague because they were too big. Its a humble 2.5" high hell and is in fact a size too big for me. But the idea of having a pair of heels is so exciting. These were apparently bought at Isetan KLCC, by Pedal Works.

Scattered thoughts

2009-05-06T05:05:00.004+08:00

Its a draining day. I will also have a pretty difficult day tomorrow. I kept thinking that there is no way I can do this for another year. Pun asked me just now if I still go back so late. I still do, unfortunately. And I said the only time it will end is when I'm out. I kept thinking back to the day where they decided I will take care of this team. How easy it seems for them to decide. I might be the craziest, but my level of patience is indeed very human. While I kept thinking that all these are challenges, I can't help but feel what the hell am I doing here? I am not getting any younger either!

So how am I going to get my Honda Accord? Can I quit and start a Nasi Lemak joint?

Look at me. While driving back I insisted I will leave these thoughts at the office, but here I am writing them away.

I added in Katy Perry's Thinking of you lyric at side there. I love this song. So very much, the video clip made me cry when I first watched it, the words reached pretty deep inside. Compounded that I am a war history fan - the video clip touched me deep.

If you have seen the video clip, you have to agree that Katy is so hot in the video clip. I simply love that 60's style she's pulling. Everything from her make up (love the eyes and lips), the hair, the outfits, even the bathing suit. My favourite being the black dress she wore in mourning. The jacket, the flaring skirt, so elegent. The hat with netted veil completed the look and her shoes! No way it looks comfortable but damn sexy! I want to be in that outfit! (of course I wouldn't be able to pull it like she did but heck, so stunning!)

*sigh* I really dig these 60's style.

If you look at the blog and think something's wrong with it, its because I messed around with the settings on the template. Like a candy store exploded in my blog.

Anyway, feast your eyes on these beautiful images of Katy Perry in the clip Thinking of you.

images from Gigwise.com

State of Pennilessness

2009-05-04T22:29:00.002+08:00

Aku di tahap kepokaian yang sungguh tidak kelakar. I get in this kind of situation sometimes, actually it used to be all the time but end of last year up until now, my financial standing is pretty solid. I basically spend my money like water by buying clothes, make-ups, accessorise and being all girly like that. Its fun when after paying all the bills and the necessities I go skipping off towards the gold lined horizon to treat myself to a false sense of happiness through retail therapy.

Seriously, I can't help it. For a fatty, when I am all dolled up I am pretty cute I have to say. It really upped my feline qualities. Miawwwrrrrhhh!!

Yeah, so I am a conceited biatch, sew me HAHA!

Its bank holiday today but I stepped in to work today after an exhausting morning. Although, in my head I have sneakily hatched an idea not to go at all, a sudden call from my staff decided that I really do have to come in. What did I say about job that even take your personal time?

I kept telling myself, no matter. I will claim OT out of it, its only for 3.5 hours plus 0.5 for commuting. Since my AVP insisted on it. *evil grin*

For now, I have to bear with this penniless state. Which is pretty painful since there hasn't been a weekend spent at home successfully like last weekend. Somehow, we didn't go out. Usually, we would definitely go somewhere, shopping. I did go to Mines, but that is out of neccesity, anyway I was back within a couple of hours anyway.

*sigh* For some reason, God has his ways. He knows I am spending my money for nothing, so he guided this resolve to get a computer, hopefully something that will anchor me home. Haha, what a thought!

Yes, I am not going to get an FB account. Thank you, sis. Exactly! Among friends, nightmares! That is what I am scared of! And its so awkward to block them off, like they don't really know that they are a pain in our life and would be wondering why we are ignoring them =P so my monkey friends have to have 'fun' sans myself. Rather stick out of it what with having a bunch of my UK colleagues in there *shudders*

My dial up is pretty slow. Scratch that, not pretty slow. VERY SLOW! I am so used to the speedy connection at my office. Although, since getting this connection I am not quite sure where can I go to online. Its a large expanse of limitless world but here I am in this corner, not sure where to start. Damn newbie.

Oh, sister. Do get in touch with me. IM or whatever. Tell me where I can chat with you online, perhaps on weekend. Impossible on weekdays. I have YM and Skype. But I don't have a headset for us to use Skype for now, penniless, small, little me.

I'm BACK!

2009-05-03T23:57:00.003+08:00

Akhirnya aku membeli sebuah computer - or someone mentioned, computer parts to make a computer which is assembled by the shop owner himself, bless his soul.

Computer ini yang aku hendak describe sebagai mediocre use berkebolehan untuk image editting tools yang agak berat. It works like wonder - pantas jugak bila pakai Adobe Photoshop. Tak meleleh darah telinga tunggu dia load, save dan sebagainya.

Aku dapat PC ni sebenarnya last week. In fact Sunday night, 11.15pm, dia sampai ke tanganku. Tukang beli? Budak kat ofis aku yang tersangat baik hatinya mengoffer body dan masa dia dan adiknya untuk membelikan computer ni pasal aku buat muka seposen kat dia dan basically begged him to get it. Pathetic or what? I know!!!! Kill me will you!

Anyway, happy 1 week with me dear computer which I have named Computer with a 'C'. Since he is the only one in the house, he can keep that name.

Nak tahu apa isi kandungan this baby? Mari bersama-sama menahan rasa benci, meluat, menyampah kepada aku yang masih lagi basking in the joy of owning a computer again finally since five years ago (Laptop for two years ago) hehe :

Processor : AMD Athlon Dual Core 2.71 GHz
Memory : Kingston DDRAM 2GB
Hardisk : Samsung Harddisk 160GB
Video : Intergrated je dulu nong, lagipun 512MB for video intergrated, OK ler tu.
Sound : Sama seperti di atas - tapi macam nak mampus install driver pasal ada problem dengan BUS driver
Media : DVD Writer Samsung
Modem : Ethernet ready, Aztech 56K - jangan gelak siot! Nanti aku dah settle masalah uangku, akan ku berpindah ke broadband.
OS : Windows XP (Ingat nak pakai Vista, tapi macam banyak songeh je, nanti dulu lah)
Monitor : Dell CRT Refurbished yang gedabak besar bas.

Itulah kisah computer aku yang boleh aku kategorikan sebagai jejaka yang boleh tahan jugak. Hensem kan computer aku? HEHE

Semalam aku pegi Mines, cari software dan apa yang patut juga modem 56 Kbps yang rupanya hampir pupus di zaman broadband ni. Aku masuk empat kedai sebelum aku jumpa dengan modem tu. Aku first masuk kat kedai komputer yang PALING BESAR SEKALI kat Mines tu. Besar gila kedai tu! Memang besar wei! Spot dia tu, kalau kat floor bawah dia adalah Giant, so imagine the massiveness of the shop. Aku pegi ler dengan yakin. Ye lah, kedai besar macam wholesale emporium takkan takde modem 56K ye dak?

How wrong I was.

Kat section Internet dia, ada macam macam modem broadband, ADSL, router, be it wireless or not. Tapi takde the puny bottom feeder/bottom of the food chain of 56 Kbps. "Kitorang takde bawak masuk modem tu," mamat tu kata bila aku tanya dah pupuskah modem 56K tu? Aku dengan tartly seraya menjawab. "Hi ih, kedai besar macam ni pun takde modem kecik tu ye!"

Selepas meninggalkan kedai yang memang best tapi takde modem yang aku nak tu, aku masuk ler dua tiga kedai lagi. Satu, satu kedai kata takde, muka aku mula bertukar menjadi muka doposen, pastu seposen, last last limasen. Setan betul. Really? Kaya betul umat kat Malaysia ni. Everyone can afford broadband that they are forgetting the small but friendly 56K modem!

Aku macam nak give up dah. Imagine, one week I was planning to get the modem since I really can't afford to get broadband now. I just got myself a computer out of my monthly salary damnit! Finally when I was executing the plan, it did not go as I expected...

Instead, I hardened my resolved, takpe banyak kedai lagi nih!

And true enough. The last shop I tried, I stood at the entrance not really sure if I should try again. The dude at the counter was damn busy with a couple of customers so I asked the other dude testing out a laptop.

"Apa? Modem 56K ah? Mau internal ka, external punya?"

Aku menarik nafas lega. Syukur kepada Tuhan yang Maha Mengetahui. Dia menunjukkan aku ke arah kedai ini yang ada product AZtech.

Dengan yakin aku mintak internal, pasal murah sket lagipun, patut senang pasang PCI chip nih. Ele, sia sia ler belajar 3.5 tahun kat UPM buat science computer kalau tak daring nak pasang chip sendiri.

Aku sempat tengok external dia punya. Kecik nak mampus skarang ni - dulu aku beli external modem AZtech ni ada macam besar eyeshadow case untuk four pallet punya besornya tapi tebal sket. Tapi skarang ni, dah sekecil ibu jari aku ni ha. Amazed gak. Tapi yang aku lagi amaze, harga dia. Internal RM23.00, external RM59.00. Internal cost less than half of the external. Go figure!

Lepas aku dah beli modem tu, singgah jap beli pirated softwares. OH GOD SAVE MY SOUL!! Note to self : Kedai tu ada mamat yang tak ler hensem tapi tinggi banget, aku punya taste gittew.

Aku beli ler bundle software yang diperlukan. OS sekali mana tau aku gatal gatal karang install install kena reformat pulak C: drive aku, mana nak cekau OS nanti kan. Microsoft office mesti, Adobe Photoshop wajib tu! Macromedia Dreamweaver Har..... Mana Macromedia Dreamweaver? Apsal dia Adobe Dreamweaver? Adobe curik ke? Wait. Last time I heard there was a court case between Adobe and Macromedia because of the interface layout issue. Adobe saying Macromedia is copying their creation. I thought Macromedia won but what happened lar.

Rupa-rupanya "The line of Macromedia products is now controlled by its former rival, Adobe Systems, which acquired Macromedia on December 3, 2005." - Wikipedia.org

So, harus aku mendapatkan Adobe formerly Macromedia Dreamweaver itu jugak. Dah beli yang perlu, balik dengan berkobar-kobar. Sempat singgah kat F.O.S beli stretchable beads necklace (LOVE IT! Its dark red!)

Balik rumah, perkara pertama ialah memasang modem, ingat ye, 3.5 years studying computer science.

But 45 minutes later, I found myself again at Mines - braving through the traffic and the impossible parking - because I cannot put the damn PCI chip in. I thought its easy install but dang! I was a sissy after all.

Kat kedai tu, I was determined that if the dude doesn't want to take the merchandise back, I would leave it there and buy the external one. But RM59! Phooey!

Tapi kat kedai tu, budak tu telah dengan deftly showed me how to put it in. I braved the traffic and the parking for nothing. I didn't see that there is indeed a space in the chip that would fit into the port.

Pendek cerita aku balik ler, pasang balik modem dengan jayanya and everything else basically resolves itself. I got myself the Microsoft Office 2007 which looks pretty radical that I have to relearned everything. Installed the Adobe Dreamweaver CS4 but not able to do so with the Photoshop but got a repalcement in another CD I have for Adobe Photoshop CS3 which is good enough. I installed Firefox, Opera browser and 1001 internet thingies. Also put the security up for my PC with Avast since the boy that bought the PC for me said is the best and I happen to have it in my bundle CD. (Kapersky is annoying). And finally this morning I resolved my sound driver issue by dowloanding and installing a patch. So my baby here is almost a whole man, haha except that if I get the memory upgrade and later the Harddisk I have been dreaming - 1 Terrabyte.

Oh gorsh, this computer talk! I can go on and on and on.

Sekarang ni aku tak dapat nak decide lagi if I want to join my friends on Facebook. Tapi aku gerunlah. There are just so many real people I know there so maybe I can decline on that. I think I passed that already. Biarlah budak budak ni knock their socks off.

Sleepless

2009-02-09T03:58:00.000+08:00

4 am and I can't sleep. Went for walk again, further this time. I got back, tired and fell asleep at 11pm. Then, I woke up at 2am, felt preety warm so took a bath. Tried to get to sleep again but still up now.

Mau kurus?

2009-02-07T14:36:00.001+08:00

I have been refered to the weight management clinic. Mission is to drop to my ideal weight. I need to lose 70 kg to get to 67.25 kg. DO THE MATH! So its a crazy amount to lose yeah? I guess for now I would just try to slowly lose some until it can't go lower, then I need to hit the gym. I promised the doc I will lose 2kg a month. But I already lose 5kg with diet control and the 15 mins walking daily. Sangat bersemangat sekarang to lose these weight. Mind you that I never starve myself.

Hidup masih kenyang.

Since then what happenend, what happend!

2009-01-24T02:58:00.002+08:00

Dah cuba update dengan N80 dua, lapan, lima belas kali tapi for some reason tak publish and such poignant thoughts too, all gone in smoke!!! Guess where I am at the moment? At workplace. This place got its own so called internet kiosk since us slaves here cannot do it at the comfort of our work zone, but its fine anyhow.

I bet me mom will call anytime soon asking me when I am coming back, heck, she should be worried see. Its 3.00 am on a Friday night. I have a few shitty things outstanding waiting for me on Monday as well so I don't exactly feel my best about this weekend but at least its a weekend where my salary is out on so it is not all bad.

I have billion of plans tomorrow. Namely getting mom new haircut, treating her to Pizza Hut (she don't really like pizza but she saw the ad the other day for some chinese new year special and thought it looks good. I also need to get myself a new handbag. Me unlike most female species that loves to collect that appendages they call their handbags will only buy them out of necessity. The current one I have now is falling apart. I got this for RM70 on a sale, otherwise it be RM140 and by my low standard that pretty pricey.... but I guess being in service full time for 1 year is a job well done for a handbag which is not made out of leather.

I also need to get myself a scale.

Oh, you didn't know? I am on a... dare I say? *whisper* diet *whisper*

I don't if I lost any but I feel spaces in my pants and shirts so I guess that is good and my pot belly has reduced in it's largeness which something I should celebrate and the best part is, I LOVE WALKING. I haven't graduated to the next brisk walk yet, I just walk... as much as I can and its always fun. I walk at the park, I walk to my car, I walk when I can since I am a lazy bum. But I hate climbing stairs. Tried that today to my 2nd floor office and I lost my life somewhere on the 1st floor. Of course I exxagerate (how do you spellit?) but you get the gist.

Anyhow, yes I need a scale something that can go over 100 kilos because I still have a long way to go. The doctor said I will need 2 years if I consistently lose weight every month and that should give you the idea how heavy I am. I basically carry 2 of me right now so I am that genourmous.

Enough of my weight.

I also need to get colour pencil for Fatihah. I think I might to get like 3 every month or something because perhaps she eats it at school. And mom mentioned about the sole of her favourite sandals wearing thin? Huhuhu

Talking about sandals, I went to Morib like I would usually do from time to time because I like to eat there and the long drive is always fun. They would have this market like place there as well so I bought myself the selipar jepun for RM10 each so I got 2. The point of the story is... I love wearing selipar/flip flop so much. It makes my legs stumpy but to tell you how wide my feet are, its the only thing that won't pinch me.

Like you can't tell I am running out of things to say so high time I beat it and leave this God forsaken place.

Btw, the stupid money machine, all three of them are coughing out RM10 notes only. Me planning to withdraw RM2k tonight alone decides that would be a foolish decision to withdraw that much in RM10 notes. So I have to go to Puchong tomorrow to get my money.

And I miss my sister very much, hope she is doing all well!!!!

Withdrawal symptoms?

2009-01-05T00:16:00.002+08:00

I always feel this way, a day before work if I spend the day doing basically nothing.

Empty inside, hollow.

And the thought that its a beginning of one hell of a busy week doesn't make things better at all.

I miss my sister.

I guess I'm having a withdrawal symptom...

i will be fine
tomorrow will be productive
i will have a good sleep tonight
work will be fun
i will be on time
i will overcome

Tinggal tiga

2009-01-04T17:29:00.001+08:00

Habis december, esok sekolah, tamat percutian panjang, sekarang rumah tinggal 3 orang.

5.30pm dan aku masih belum mandi. Memang hari yang malas

Mata ne

2009-01-03T14:27:00.000+08:00

My sister is in Kay Kay now. It takes at least three hours to get to Lawas.

See you next June. There's my blog, sms and phonecalls in between.

Anon

2009-01-03T14:24:00.001+08:00

I deleted my friendster account and decided never to sign up for a facebook. People been telling me how fun it is but I want to stay anonymous in my online escapades.

Dulu, suatu masa

2009-01-03T00:28:00.001+08:00

Akak aku nak balik esok pagi. Dia duduk kat Lawas, Sarawak. Dah nak masuk 9 tahun kat sana. Gilakan jauhnya. Kampung kat KL, keje kat Sarawak.
Akupun pernah duduk dengan dia dulu. Pekan yang boring gila, most shops will close at 6.00pm, satu sudut ke satu sudut ambik masa setengah jam. Tapi for some reason aku suka that sleepy town. Its clean, because its small everything within reach. And if we were bored, we would go to the next bigger town, Sipitang or to the city itself, Kota Kinabalu. Nak sampai sana 3 jam. Pegi mesti tido hotel. Hahaha! Masa tu akak aku punya expense 100% dia, kesian dia. Dan yang paling best ialah Kundasang, kat kaki Gunung Kinabalu. One of the best thing in Malaysia I would say. It could be sunny but the air is cool. Can you beat that in Malaysia?
Hmm... Nak makan karipap sardin and my sister mintak air berais. Ye, kadang kadang aku adalah kadimnya. Heeey... Jagung kukus!!!

Pecah

2009-01-02T23:32:00.001+08:00

Sesuatu yang sangat bodoh telah berlaku. Hugo boss ku tiba tiba pecah botolnya. I am saddened.

Wangi dan makan

2009-01-02T21:37:00.002+08:00

Dapat Hugo Boss dengan Clinique Happy akhirnya. 125 ml both, the biggest I can afford. I have pledged to smell great for as long as I can afford. Next in my list are Davidoff Cool Water, Elizabeth Arden Green Tea, DKNY Be Delicious dan banyak lagi.

Berjaya blah half day from ofis. Tu pun extra 45 minute. Pastu balik rumah hantar me mom balik, pastu pegi Puchong jemput askar kecik. Pastu pegi Jusco, makan Sushi King, beli botol air ngan 2009 planner. Nak jadi lebih organise tahun ni and drink more water. Dah balik rumah, me mom masak beriani! Gila kau. Makan lagi dengan chicken korma ugh! Mampos! Lepas makan sushi dengan soba, makan lagi nasik beriani! Sedapnya pulak lemak dia sepoi sepoi bahasa. Tak paham aku apa mak aku masuk boleh jadi sedap cenggitu. Bila nasik dah sampai ke idung, pegi pulak pasar malam. Beli lagi jagung kukus, GAH! Fuiyo! Patutlah aku gemuk!

Firecracker

2009-01-02T00:36:00.000+08:00

My sister is bigger than life. A little over the top,with a big heart and utterly funny. She also has low tolerance for sudden loud noises. Case in point, while driving out of Mc D, firecracker popped out of nowhere. Its quite loud, naturally for a firecracker. My sister who was driving must be extremely surprised because she gave this gawdawful scream which sounds like a cross of an angry banshee and a mating walrus. Loud enough that 2 unsuspecting bystanders shitted in their pants I bet with the way of their reactions. Reducing two grown men to weak hearted school girls is indeed a feat! It is super funny too.

New year 2009

2009-01-01T23:53:00.001+08:00

Ingat nak apply leave esok tapi nampaknya gagal kerna ada keparat tak reti nak kesian kat aku. Macam2 alasan dia kasi. Tensiun betol. Aku dah cakap kat boss aku, dia ok dah bagi aku cuti tapi pasal mangkok tu tak dapat nak datang esok, aku kena kerja. Aku ingat nak pegi awal esok, pukul 12, balik pukul 4. Mintak tak banyak gangguan sangat so dapat balik on time. Dapat half day je nampaknya.

Makan di Mc Donald lagi

2009-01-01T23:26:00.001+08:00

Makan double prosperity lagi. Kali ke 4 sejak launched. Aku rasa it shall be my last. I love beef. Tapi udahler for now. Ugh! Nak muntah. Prut boroi.

Tamat... or is it?

2006-10-28T21:25:00.001+08:00

Bound to happen. Blogger is fun and challenging, HAHA. I'm just pretty lazy so I decided to move back to Diaryland. My old home. So... get clicking....

[edit]

21 July 2009. I decided to import the old blog into the new one. I am back on blogger. I think one blog should be enough for now. :D

Blogthings Part 1

2006-07-15T23:53:00.000+08:00

You Are Likely A Forth Born

At your darkest moments, you feel angry.
At work and school, you do best when your analyzing.
When you love someone, you tend to be very giving.

In friendship, you don't take the initiative in reaching out.
Your ideal jobs are: factory jobs, comedy, and dentistry.
You will leave your mark on the world with your own personal philosophy.

The Birth Order Predictor

You Are A Walnut Tree

You are strange and full of contrasts... the oddball of your group.

You are unrelenting and you have unlimited ambition.

Not always liked but always admired, you are more infamous than famous.

You are aggressive and spontaneous, and your reactions are often unexpected.

A jealous and passionate person, you are difficult in romantic relationships.

What's Your Celtic Horoscope?

You Are 65% Normal

Otherwise known as the normal amount of normal

You're like most people most of the time

But you've got those quirks that make you endearing

You're unique, yes... but not frighteningly so!

How Normal Are You?

You Are 70% Weird

You're so weird, you think you're *totally* normal. Right?
But you wig out even the biggest of circus freaks!

How Weird Are You?

Your Stress Level is: 62%

You are prone to stress, and you're probably even pretty stressed right now.
Life's problems seem to pile up on you, and this often makes you feel depressed and burned out.
Learn to take time to relax and enjoy life, even if things are stressful. It's the only wa you'll get through the bad times.

How Stressed Are You?

You are 67% Scorpio

How Scorpio Are You?

You Are Ruby Red

You are warm and inviting - yet a little wild and outrageous.
Well aware that you have a dual personality, you work it as much as you can!
You like for people to be comfortable around you, but not at the expense of you stealing the limelight.
Popular and well known, you make friends easily. You have your big personality to thank for that.

What Color Red Are You?

Your IQ Is 105

Your Logical Intelligence is Below Average

Your Verbal Intelligence is Exceptional

Your Mathematical Intelligence is Genius

Your General Knowledge is Average

A Quick and Dirty IQ Test

Monologue

2006-06-22T01:36:00.000+08:00

I am scared that I might not be doing a good job

You are just assisting customers, just follow the book and use your judgement.

I am feeling that my productivity has plumetted. Most prevalent this week.

Pull yourself together! And concentrate on doing what is right!

I am also feeling too confident about something.

Its not confirmed yet, do not get worked up. It be so embarassing if it does not work out.

I might die sooner than the average Jane

Its not the destination but the journey. While you are at it, take your meds, climb those stairs and watch your food.

I lost 35 kg in the span of 4 months.

Keep on climbing those stairs.

I have been talking nonsense since Monday. I always feel the great need to make jokes and make a fool out of myself.

There is no importance of making a fool of yourself every living seconds. Just be yourself.

I feel stupid.

Yeah, you are not the cleverest person and so is 99.99% of the populations.

I am saying goodbye to my object of unrequited love

About time!

I like another guy in a most casual way and he is not in my team.

No pressure, so yeay!

New Old Life!

2006-05-27T02:00:00.000+08:00

Thinking about new old life :D and him...

I just finished cleaning up my stuff and the 3rd room which I have adopted as my own for the past 4 months.

From tomorrow on, I will be shifting back to the family's home. Somehow right now I feel hopeful and at the same time sad that I will leave this side of life and goes to the next. I cleaned up the family's home last friday - not to the most extreme cleanliness but acceptably clean. It was quite a hard work! I haven't managed to clean the fridge which I know will upset my sister when she comes back tomorrow. But at least, I managed to dust all three big fans so at least they be coming back to a faster running fans ~ cleaner breeze :D

My brother might not be able to come with me to pick my mom, sister and Tehah. Considering that they are flying at night, I am not so hot with the idea of finding my way to LCC on my own. I do believe that they will land there but I need to confirm again with my sister.

I really can't wait to see them. I miss my sister, my mom and tehah very much. Hard to believe but its true. On Sunday I might take them to my sis in law hometown to visit her and the new baby. And if things work out I will take them either to KLCC or Midvalley on Monday.

Somehow, I feel like I will miss my brother's house. My brother and sis in law been great. No such nightmare story like what my mom had to go through in her own chapter of life. I pretty much become a free loader here, but hey I still pay the bills over at the family home where my other brother still lives, pretty much free loading over free loading.

I really like it here. Away from the big clutter of life, not to mention Astro and wireless streamyx connection which always been great. I know I hardly update this blog while I'm here but heck that shows I was really having a ball that I don't feel like going online that much hehe.

I am trying to give out a happy mood about this last update before I head back home. But I can't deny that I do feel sad... I even said goodbye to my 'room'

And guess what, the object of my unrequited love (omul) is also on a long holiday next week. After that I will be on my core leave, which means I am will not be seeing him for 2 weeks! Somehow that managed to make me feel even sadder.

Moving back and not seeing him for 2 weeks do make me feel quite melancholic about the whole thing. Such timing!

Ok, so off the tangent, I am still feeling what I am feeling the past year towards him. *sigh* he need to get hitched for me to outgrow this very teenagerish feeling I'm having :P *sigh* I kept telling myself that whatever it is, its just a phase and it should not be taken seriously but dang after a while I still feel the same way towards him. These days I do think it is getting a bit frighteningly out of hand because I'm starting to feel jealous which is really stupid because he is such a public property!

And sometimes I do feel upset towards this certain someone who knows how I feel towards him. I dunno why but I feel that somehow she feels the same way I feel towards him so there is a silent competition or something going on...

Which is really stupid, I know :p Hopefully, my sister would want to listen to me rambling about this further so I can just get it out of my system :P

Now. Been great staying here. But as they put it home is where heart this, so that means wherever my family is. :D

It is going to be a LONG day tomorrow. I need to do maybe at least 2 trips to get my stuff into my car... haha my last work out! Maybe I'll need to get a thank you card and some cleaning agent over at Giant. I wanna do some more cleaning. Mainly the dishes that been sitting untouch for 4 months and the bath and toilet looks like need some lovin' too! Maybe I even cook! O_o haha don't get yer hope up.. plain ol' sardin, vege and telur dadar... hehe just in case they come home hungry tomorrow.

Its half past two now. I think I wanna watch some tv and let myself fall asleep on the sofa and try to wake up on time tomorrow :P

Tired

2006-05-26T01:01:00.000+08:00

Yes, I know the images are not showing...

Tired.. I am just so mentally tired today. Work is, as usual : sucks. Sucks to the very core. Sucking my soul dry and clean. I don't know how long I can take to keep on doing this. Been doing it for over a year now. I wonder if I can hang on for another year.

Imagine waking up to another day knowing that you will be handling the same old shit that you hate. Well, actually more like same old shit that you are scared of. Yes, my job scares me. It scary when I need to make contact with the customers. Things go fine 70% of the time. The rest will lead to either a mental meltdown or a screaming rampage once you wrapped the call. And it could be due to being treated like a second grade human from 3rd world country or a punch bag where they let out their anger on you when the system let them down.

I prefer the punching bag bit. At least I can justify how they feel as I put myself in their shoes.

I can't really get the second grade human bit. Apparently because you are from the wrong side of the hemisphere seems to make you less... I don't know... human?

And usually this would make me most depressed about the shit I do. You would say that go to hell what they think but that is what exactly I already told myself but it still bugs me.

Since I feel like ranting I refused to analyze further about whatever perspective the situation involves. I want to be mad, upset, angry about it. Because when I want to try to 'justify' it, I will feel so bottled up, I could literally explode!

.....

....

...

..

.

:P

*sigh*

When I got really upset about work, I got deflated. Like a punctured tyre. Like what happened today :(

Tindik

2006-03-11T03:44:00.000+08:00

Dulu masa aku darjah 4, ibu aku ada tindik telinga aku dengan telinga akak aku. Buat sendiri aje, pakai jarum jahit orang (eh he, jangan tanya mana dapat). Ibu cakap, tak sakit de, pasal telinga tu takde darah. Sebagai seorang anak yang taat dan naif, aku pun cayalah cakap ibu aku. Ibu cucuk cuping akak aku dulu, kalau tak silap lah. Nampak cam sakit! Tapi aku ni ada bendul juga, tunggu ajelah sampai turn aku. Satu pasal kununnya nak sangat bersubang, lagi satu pasal ibu dulu sangat garang orangnya. Sikit lagi cam saikotiklar, jadi aku tak berani nak memandai lari, mengada-ngada kata taknak ke, apa ke.

Bila sampai turn aku, ada rasa cam nak pegi hukum gantung jugaklah. Mula-mula tu tak sakit sangat. Tapi bila ibu apply pressure nak bagi tembus jarum tu... FUIYO!!! SAKITNYA!!! Yelah, budak 10 tahun. Mana sangat tahan sakit. Dah lah pelan pelan ibu buat. Weh! Sakit woi! Meraunglah, apa lagi. Huuuu SAKIT!! SAKIT!! TAKNAK!!! Tapi ibu yang memang terkenal bersikap tegas dan bersemangat waja, meneruskan usaha untuk menindik telinga aku. Masalah masa tu, telinga aku ni tebal sikit dari norma-norma alam. Jadi, kalau orang biasa dah kira tembus dah, aku punya belum lagi. Lepas, aku rasa mau ada setengah jam kot, baru selesai... Sebelah telinga. Sebelah lagi satu belum lagi.

Masa tu memang dah kira nak tarik langkah seribu lah. Tapi aku ni, jenis budak yang tak reti lari dari rumah. Dan jugak tak sanggup berdepan dengan WRATH ibu aku yang sangat terkenal dengan kegarangannya masa itu, terpaksa mengalah dan menyerah kepada takdir. Pendek cerita, perkara sama berlaku, dan aku hampir pengsan kerana sakit sangat (hampir je... )
Lepas tu, lubang yang baru tu telah di cucuk dengan lidi so tak tertutup. Lubang dah buat, bolehler pakai subang kan kan kan? Tapi masalah negaranya, telinga tebal susah carik subang yang cukup panjang. Masa tu mana ada stail subang ala ala bohemia yang menjadi train kegilaan zaman skarang ni. Pakai subang cucuk ngan ada skru kat belakang dia tu. Silap pusing, sepit telinga sampai tertanam dalam kulit (fuh, seram bunyinya) Dalam koleksi subang ibu yang pelbagai, aku boleh pakai satu subang aje. Simple je, kalo ikutkan memang cantik! Tapi pasal masa tu bengong tak tau nilai estetika, rasa sangat boring kerana memakai subang yang takde imiginasi.

Dah lama lepas tu, malas nak pakai subang. Yelah, ala ala ketomboyan masa tu. Mana kuasa pakai benda feminin camtu. Lama lama, lubang telinga pun tertutup... tamat cerita tindik telinga.

Buatnya bukan main sakit. Pastu suka hati biar kambus...

Sekarang ni, tiba-tiba gatal nak bertindik pulak. Suka tengok anting-anting trend sekarang ni. Tapi takdelah pakai yang terlebih rambu tu. Cantik sangat pulak nanti. Suka design simple cam sebutir mutiara ke apa ke. Kononnya, rancang nak ke Mines ahad ni ngan Grozer. Dia tindik kat situ. Aku taulah kat mana-mana pun buleh tindik, tapi dah dia yang sudi neman aku dan dia tindik kat kedai satu tu... ke situlah aku. Tapi kalau budget tak cukup mungkin kena pospon.

Tamat cerita tindik, nak cakap sikit pasal hari ni. Hari ni, ada rasa tak puas hati dan ada sedikit marah. Ada sedikit keciwa, ada sedikit sedey, ada juga berdebar-debar. Minggu ni adalah penamat dan permulaan untuk sesuatu. Minggu depan, cabaran bermula. Aku tak tau sampai bila aku boleh buat keja ni. Kalau nak gauge the whole mess dengan hari ni, tak lama dah aku rasa. Aku asik melambat-lambatkan aje mengupdate resume, but once I'm done. I'm all out and I'm all gone babey! Tak sanggup dah buat keje ni :P

Tagged

2006-02-25T02:37:00.000+08:00

Urgh! Tak kuasa betul aku dengan benda ni... but LO! Here we go!

Four Jobs I've Had:
1. Salesgirl bookshop
2. Demo software3.
Office slave (industrial training)
4. Telephonist - HAH HAH HAH!!

Four Movies I Can Watch Over and Over
1. My Best Friend's Wedding
2. A Bug's Life
3. 40 Year Old Virgin
4. Constantine

Four Places I Have Lived
1. Bt Changgang
2. Salak South
3. F.E.S Jabatan Pertanian, Serdang
4. Serdang Jaya

Four Television Shows I Loved to Watch
1. Whose line is it anyway?
2. Malcolm in the middle
3. Faking it
4. CSI : Vegas, Miami, New York.

Four Places I Have Been On Vacation
1. Taman Laut Sipadan, Sabah
2. Kundasang, Sabah
3. Langkawi, Kedah
4. Lawas, Sarawak

Four of My Favourite Dishes
1. Ayam masak kicap
2. Ikan masak taucu
3. Masak asam pedas
4. Rendang mak aku... :P~

Four Websites I Visit Daily
1. www.wikipedia.com
2. www.crimelibrary.com
3. blog detto
4. www.blogger.com

Four Places I Would Rather Be Right Now
1. Harajuku
2. Ginza
3. Akihabara
4. Roponggi

Four Bloggers I am Tagging
Four? I can't even give you ONE!!! :P

all thanks to cik detto kita ye...