New Old Life!

Thinking about new old life :D and him...

I just finished cleaning up my stuff and the 3rd room which I have adopted as my own for the past 4 months.

From tomorrow on, I will be shifting back to the family's home. Somehow right now I feel hopeful and at the same time sad that I will leave this side of life and goes to the next. I cleaned up the family's home last friday - not to the most extreme cleanliness but acceptably clean. It was quite a hard work! I haven't managed to clean the fridge which I know will upset my sister when she comes back tomorrow. But at least, I managed to dust all three big fans so at least they be coming back to a faster running fans ~ cleaner breeze :D

My brother might not be able to come with me to pick my mom, sister and Tehah. Considering that they are flying at night, I am not so hot with the idea of finding my way to LCC on my own. I do believe that they will land there but I need to confirm again with my sister.

I really can't wait to see them. I miss my sister, my mom and tehah very much. Hard to believe but its true. On Sunday I might take them to my sis in law hometown to visit her and the new baby. And if things work out I will take them either to KLCC or Midvalley on Monday.

Somehow, I feel like I will miss my brother's house. My brother and sis in law been great. No such nightmare story like what my mom had to go through in her own chapter of life. I pretty much become a free loader here, but hey I still pay the bills over at the family home where my other brother still lives, pretty much free loading over free loading.

I really like it here. Away from the big clutter of life, not to mention Astro and wireless streamyx connection which always been great. I know I hardly update this blog while I'm here but heck that shows I was really having a ball that I don't feel like going online that much hehe.

I am trying to give out a happy mood about this last update before I head back home. But I can't deny that I do feel sad... I even said goodbye to my 'room'

And guess what, the object of my unrequited love (omul) is also on a long holiday next week. After that I will be on my core leave, which means I am will not be seeing him for 2 weeks! Somehow that managed to make me feel even sadder.

Moving back and not seeing him for 2 weeks do make me feel quite melancholic about the whole thing. Such timing!

Ok, so off the tangent, I am still feeling what I am feeling the past year towards him. *sigh* he need to get hitched for me to outgrow this very teenagerish feeling I'm having :P *sigh* I kept telling myself that whatever it is, its just a phase and it should not be taken seriously but dang after a while I still feel the same way towards him. These days I do think it is getting a bit frighteningly out of hand because I'm starting to feel jealous which is really stupid because he is such a public property!

And sometimes I do feel upset towards this certain someone who knows how I feel towards him. I dunno why but I feel that somehow she feels the same way I feel towards him so there is a silent competition or something going on...

Which is really stupid, I know :p Hopefully, my sister would want to listen to me rambling about this further so I can just get it out of my system :P

Now. Been great staying here. But as they put it home is where heart this, so that means wherever my family is. :D

It is going to be a LONG day tomorrow. I need to do maybe at least 2 trips to get my stuff into my car... haha my last work out! Maybe I'll need to get a thank you card and some cleaning agent over at Giant. I wanna do some more cleaning. Mainly the dishes that been sitting untouch for 4 months and the bath and toilet looks like need some lovin' too! Maybe I even cook! O_o haha don't get yer hope up.. plain ol' sardin, vege and telur dadar... hehe just in case they come home hungry tomorrow.

Its half past two now. I think I wanna watch some tv and let myself fall asleep on the sofa and try to wake up on time tomorrow :P

Tired

Yes, I know the images are not showing...

Tired.. I am just so mentally tired today. Work is, as usual : sucks. Sucks to the very core. Sucking my soul dry and clean. I don't know how long I can take to keep on doing this. Been doing it for over a year now. I wonder if I can hang on for another year.

Imagine waking up to another day knowing that you will be handling the same old shit that you hate. Well, actually more like same old shit that you are scared of. Yes, my job scares me. It scary when I need to make contact with the customers. Things go fine 70% of the time. The rest will lead to either a mental meltdown or a screaming rampage once you wrapped the call. And it could be due to being treated like a second grade human from 3rd world country or a punch bag where they let out their anger on you when the system let them down.

I prefer the punching bag bit. At least I can justify how they feel as I put myself in their shoes.

I can't really get the second grade human bit. Apparently because you are from the wrong side of the hemisphere seems to make you less... I don't know... human?

And usually this would make me most depressed about the shit I do. You would say that go to hell what they think but that is what exactly I already told myself but it still bugs me.

Since I feel like ranting I refused to analyze further about whatever perspective the situation involves. I want to be mad, upset, angry about it. Because when I want to try to 'justify' it, I will feel so bottled up, I could literally explode!

.....

....

...

..

.

:P

*sigh*

When I got really upset about work, I got deflated. Like a punctured tyre. Like what happened today :(

Tindik

Dulu masa aku darjah 4, ibu aku ada tindik telinga aku dengan telinga akak aku. Buat sendiri aje, pakai jarum jahit orang (eh he, jangan tanya mana dapat). Ibu cakap, tak sakit de, pasal telinga tu takde darah. Sebagai seorang anak yang taat dan naif, aku pun cayalah cakap ibu aku. Ibu cucuk cuping akak aku dulu, kalau tak silap lah. Nampak cam sakit! Tapi aku ni ada bendul juga, tunggu ajelah sampai turn aku. Satu pasal kununnya nak sangat bersubang, lagi satu pasal ibu dulu sangat garang orangnya. Sikit lagi cam saikotiklar, jadi aku tak berani nak memandai lari, mengada-ngada kata taknak ke, apa ke.

Bila sampai turn aku, ada rasa cam nak pegi hukum gantung jugaklah. Mula-mula tu tak sakit sangat. Tapi bila ibu apply pressure nak bagi tembus jarum tu... FUIYO!!! SAKITNYA!!! Yelah, budak 10 tahun. Mana sangat tahan sakit. Dah lah pelan pelan ibu buat. Weh! Sakit woi! Meraunglah, apa lagi. Huuuu SAKIT!! SAKIT!! TAKNAK!!! Tapi ibu yang memang terkenal bersikap tegas dan bersemangat waja, meneruskan usaha untuk menindik telinga aku. Masalah masa tu, telinga aku ni tebal sikit dari norma-norma alam. Jadi, kalau orang biasa dah kira tembus dah, aku punya belum lagi. Lepas, aku rasa mau ada setengah jam kot, baru selesai... Sebelah telinga. Sebelah lagi satu belum lagi.

Masa tu memang dah kira nak tarik langkah seribu lah. Tapi aku ni, jenis budak yang tak reti lari dari rumah. Dan jugak tak sanggup berdepan dengan WRATH ibu aku yang sangat terkenal dengan kegarangannya masa itu, terpaksa mengalah dan menyerah kepada takdir. Pendek cerita, perkara sama berlaku, dan aku hampir pengsan kerana sakit sangat (hampir je... )
Lepas tu, lubang yang baru tu telah di cucuk dengan lidi so tak tertutup. Lubang dah buat, bolehler pakai subang kan kan kan? Tapi masalah negaranya, telinga tebal susah carik subang yang cukup panjang. Masa tu mana ada stail subang ala ala bohemia yang menjadi train kegilaan zaman skarang ni. Pakai subang cucuk ngan ada skru kat belakang dia tu. Silap pusing, sepit telinga sampai tertanam dalam kulit (fuh, seram bunyinya) Dalam koleksi subang ibu yang pelbagai, aku boleh pakai satu subang aje. Simple je, kalo ikutkan memang cantik! Tapi pasal masa tu bengong tak tau nilai estetika, rasa sangat boring kerana memakai subang yang takde imiginasi.

Dah lama lepas tu, malas nak pakai subang. Yelah, ala ala ketomboyan masa tu. Mana kuasa pakai benda feminin camtu. Lama lama, lubang telinga pun tertutup... tamat cerita tindik telinga.

Buatnya bukan main sakit. Pastu suka hati biar kambus...

Sekarang ni, tiba-tiba gatal nak bertindik pulak. Suka tengok anting-anting trend sekarang ni. Tapi takdelah pakai yang terlebih rambu tu. Cantik sangat pulak nanti. Suka design simple cam sebutir mutiara ke apa ke. Kononnya, rancang nak ke Mines ahad ni ngan Grozer. Dia tindik kat situ. Aku taulah kat mana-mana pun buleh tindik, tapi dah dia yang sudi neman aku dan dia tindik kat kedai satu tu... ke situlah aku. Tapi kalau budget tak cukup mungkin kena pospon.

Tamat cerita tindik, nak cakap sikit pasal hari ni. Hari ni, ada rasa tak puas hati dan ada sedikit marah. Ada sedikit keciwa, ada sedikit sedey, ada juga berdebar-debar. Minggu ni adalah penamat dan permulaan untuk sesuatu. Minggu depan, cabaran bermula. Aku tak tau sampai bila aku boleh buat keja ni. Kalau nak gauge the whole mess dengan hari ni, tak lama dah aku rasa. Aku asik melambat-lambatkan aje mengupdate resume, but once I'm done. I'm all out and I'm all gone babey! Tak sanggup dah buat keje ni :P

Tagged

Urgh! Tak kuasa betul aku dengan benda ni... but LO! Here we go!

Four Jobs I've Had:
1. Salesgirl bookshop
2. Demo software3.
Office slave (industrial training)
4. Telephonist - HAH HAH HAH!!

Four Movies I Can Watch Over and Over
1. My Best Friend's Wedding
2. A Bug's Life
3. 40 Year Old Virgin
4. Constantine

Four Places I Have Lived
1. Bt Changgang
2. Salak South
3. F.E.S Jabatan Pertanian, Serdang
4. Serdang Jaya

Four Television Shows I Loved to Watch
1. Whose line is it anyway?
2. Malcolm in the middle
3. Faking it
4. CSI : Vegas, Miami, New York.

Four Places I Have Been On Vacation
1. Taman Laut Sipadan, Sabah
2. Kundasang, Sabah
3. Langkawi, Kedah
4. Lawas, Sarawak

Four of My Favourite Dishes
1. Ayam masak kicap
2. Ikan masak taucu
3. Masak asam pedas
4. Rendang mak aku... :P~

Four Websites I Visit Daily
1. www.wikipedia.com
2. www.crimelibrary.com
3. blog detto
4. www.blogger.com

Four Places I Would Rather Be Right Now
1. Harajuku
2. Ginza
3. Akihabara
4. Roponggi

Four Bloggers I am Tagging
Four? I can't even give you ONE!!! :P

all thanks to cik detto kita ye...

Off Friday!

I forgot that I applied for a leave today (Friday) So when RBN (haha, stoopid joke) showed me the schedule, it was a really pleasant surprise. I even gave out an evil laugh to my team-mates.. "Guess what guys, I'm on leave on Friday AND on Monday!"

Yeah, Monday if also off day to cover the Sunday I worked on.

Although off day, I still had dinner with my two work buds. :P Pathetic ne? But I was from my family home, doing my laundry the whole day without eating proper food (just drank milk) so eating out with them was great. Then they pretended that I was kidnapping them, so they don't have to go back to work. Screaming for help softly, halfheartedly : help~ help~ help~ very silly. I wish that we are crazy enough to pull it off since we really had a good time the last time we went out for a movie.

Detto gave me this bunch of Arashi clips singing WISH. I don't think its really that bad about their show but at how she pointed it out, its really funny when I look at them again. Oh well, I was busy watching MatsuJun the whole time anyway. :P

Budak lelaki sebelum bunga

Ada orang tu cakap dia nak delete link ke blog ni pasal tak pernahnya ada update. Memandangkan orang tu seorang yang boleh diklasifikasikan sebagai rakan best, terpaksalah aku mengupdate blog ni, walaupun pada hakikatnya nothing eventful happened.

Tapi baru baru ni, (semalam sebenarnya) dapat tengok Hana Yori Dango! None of those Meteor Garden carp* hehehe. Aku yang freakishly loving japanese dorama ni, kalau nak kasik point yang biased memang 9 out of 10. Comel, comel, comel!!! MatsuJun as Doumyoji and Oguri Shun as Hanazawa Rui. Its like reverse image of their characters in Gokusen Dorama. Dalam Gokusen MatsuJun as Shin, Oguri Shun as Uchi. At first I really really don't like MatsuJun. My first reaction was "Ugh... bughoknye Doumyoji dia!" Pastu tengok Gokusen. Masih rasa ISK! Bughoknya Shin dia! Camane boleh jadi hero ni? Pastu lama lama, bila character yang dimainkan mula ada depth, mula minat pulak kat si MatsuJun ni. Dia kalau frowning, oklah. Tapi bila senyum macam, kawaii pulak! Isk, camana dari benci, terminat pulak!

Lepas tengok Gokusen, dapat tengok Hana Yori Dango. Dapat peluang tengok MatsuJun bawak watak selain Shin. Character si MatsuJun tu dalam Gokusen cool betul. Dingin tapi kakkoi ler... tapi dalam HYD as Doumyoji memang lagi interesting. Dia pun dah tua sket. Muka ada lain sikit (rasa bibir tak setebal dulu O_o) Doumyoji masa mula introduction, macam SETAN! Iyalah, kaki buli no. 1 sekolah. Tapi as the character develop, nampak ler lebih interesting. Human and a little silly. Ada sikit naive, ada sikit pure, tapi tak wishy washy. And he is tough, no fooling around with this guy and it is sweet that he fell for Makino pasal she is a tough person. Funny thinking how he like to boss her around, but at the same time he is trying so hard to win her love. Lots and lots of Eh?! and Nani?!! moments. He would ask her out for a date tapi threatened her that he would kill her if she doesn't show up. Typing it down here make him sounds abusive, tapi he never did laid a finger on her after he realised how he is in love with her.

Dalam dorama ni pun ada lagu background yang sangat sedap didengar : Planetarium by Otsuka Ai. Memang kena dengan feel dengan tema cerita. Meaning dia pun very beautiful (Basic nihongo knowledge - faham sikit je...)

Sebelum tengok Dorama ni, ada jugak baca HYD sikit sikit. I was thinking, Hanazawa Rui is sweet and all but I do think the only person that can deal with Doumyoji is Makino. So in the Dorama when they ended up together, I am really really happy! ^_____^

... and I really love MatsuJun as Doumyoji Tsukasa in HYD.

All this thanks to Detto, of course. Mah pardner in crime ^___~

Buat Detto, jangan delete link ke blog aku ni. Pasal aku tau ko sorang je yang rajin baca, selain akak aku. So, aku tujukan lagu yang best ni kepada engko :

PURANETARIUMU by Otsuka Ai

yuudzukeyo kao dasu kieteku kodomo no koe
tooku tooku kono sora no dokoka ni kimi wa iru n' darou
natsu no owari ni 2(futa)ri de nukedashita kono kouen de mitsuketa
ano seiza nandaka oboeteru?

* aenakutemo kioku wo tadotte onaji shiawase wo mitai n' da
ano kaori to tomo ni hanabi ga patto hiraku

ikitai yo kimi no tokoro e imasugu kakedashite ikitai yo
makkura de nani mo mienai kowakutemo daijoubu
kazoekirenai hoshizora ga ima mo zutto koko ni aru n' da yo
nakanai yo mukashi kimi to mita kirei na sora datta kara
ano michi made hibiku kutsu no ne ga mimi ni nokoru
ookina jibun no kage wo mitsumete omou no deshou

chittomo kawaranai hazu na noni setsunai kimochi fukurandeku
donna ni omotta tte kimi wa mou inai

ikitai yo kimi no soba ni chiisakutemo chiisakutemo
1(ichi)ban ni kimi ga suki da yo tsuyoku irareru
negai wo nagareboshi ni sotto tonaete mita keredo
nakanai yo todoku darou kirei na sora ni

* repeat

ikitai yo kimi no tokoro e chiisana te wo nigirishimete
nakitai yo sore wa sore wa kirei na sora datta
negai wo nagareboshi ni sotto tonaete mita keredo
nakitai yo todokanai omoi wo kono sora ni...

Nomad

Sekarang di Puchong, weekend kembali ke Serdang... Kemudian mungkin tinggal di Serdang untuk seminggu, kemudian kembali ke Puchong.

Sunyi bila balik ke rumah yang takde orang. Dulu ada ibu dan Nur. Sekarang di Sarawak, mungkin sampai bulan Jun. 6 bulan tu tak lama mana kan? Sekarang ni, aku rasakan aku nak buat macam macam benda yang aku tak dapat buat bila ibu dan Nur ada di sini. Macam, keluar dengan kawan ke apa ke. I want to be someone my age... not older.

Rindu jugak. Takkan tak rindu. Hanya aku, ibu dan Nur sejak ayah pergi. Orang lain ada. Tapi macam berdiri di luar bulatan. External, close but distant. Bukan nak kata apa, aku rasa tak ramai orang boleh put up dengan ibu macam aku. She's not difficult. Tapi there are moments that require some patience. But then again, for someone who struggles so much for our sake, I think it is not even going to be a question.

Sementara ibu takde, aku akan berusaha untuk menurun kan berat badan! Tak banyak 10 kilo pun jadilah! Dah terlampau gemuk sekarang ni! Dulu rasa tak mungkin boleh jadi lebih gemuk tapi sejak menjak ni, rasa sudah makin gemuk! How can it be possible?!

Are~

Sekarang ni minat MatsuJun dari group Arashi. Masa mula mula tengok dia dalam Hana Yori Dango punya snippets, I though... GOD! What a Butt ugly Doumyuji! Tapi bila tengok Gokusen Dorama, lepas episode 3, mula minat! Not bad, he look really sweet when he smiles. Suara menyanyi pun ok jugak! Tak sabar nak tengok HYD. And also Kimi wa Petto. Dia jadi the foundling... ehhe... the pet I mean @_@ itu yang nak tengok sangat tu!

Dah begging dengan cara yang agak sombong dari Detto... dia nak torture aku katanya. Aku nak jugak! Tak kira!!!

Manga Fever

Manga manga manga!!!

@_@

Nothing but manga!

While listening to Rurutia

KYA!!!

- yes, another pointless entry ^_^;

Dream + Work = Zombie

I've been dreaming about working lately. I wake up tired instead of rested. It has been going on for the past few weeks. Most of the times I can't remember the details but I know I was dreaming about working. The things I do at work 5 days a week, reenacted in my dreams.

I believe that dream is a way our brain organises all data received during the day. Which means working must be at least 80% what is inside my brain on most days. I do think its just plain crazy. Makes me worried to think that work is ruling my life.

I had a one to one session with my asst. manager today. I enjoy such sessions because we can actually chat about work in a way where you can comment about what you like and hate about what you're doing everyday, basically whatever it is about work. One of the things that popped up was the dreams I'm having.

I do dream about other things of course but usually as it approches the time for me to wake up, I would always ended up dreaming about work. One time it got to the point where I got physical about it. I woke up freaked out, naturally.

Of course it worries me somewhat. Its bad enough doing the work as it is but fretting about it for the rest of the hours that I am unworking is just pathetic. I suggested that perhaps I am worried about the quality of work I am doing (our work are QCed by colleagues in the UK) My asst. manager reasoned that I shouldn't be if I am doing things the right way. He is of course saying the right thing but after they took my send direct the last time (which has been returned recently) I am getting very cautious with the things I am doing. You can say I have grown paranoid that I am doing things wrongly. I did receive a good feedback the last time, yet that was the last time. I wonder how it will be for the next time... and there I go again... worrying about work when I should not be thinking about work.

Now, I'm thinking of taking some sort of supplements to help me sleep better. Asst. Manager suggested warm milk + honey. I'm thinking around the line of cough syrup... but that is like... drug abuse isn't it (heh) But heck, I don't want to be zombified : Work work, eat work, rest work, sleep work, shower work, brush teeth work... overkill.

I might be dreaming about work again tonight, though. Plus, I have to wake up early tomorrow. I have an appointment with the doctor regarding my hypertension. Yep, I have that too... yippie!!

But seriously, I do hope I would be dreaming about something else other than work for tonight.

Naruto Keychains

I don't usually collect Anime trinkets or models. I guess I am not that an otaku. But I appreciate free stuff - animewise, like the keychains GempakStars giving away bimonthly since 3 months ago. Now I have seven of em. The latest in the addition is my favourite, Kakashi.

You don't have to tell me. I know the images are hopelessly blurred. I have a very pathetic camera! You can play guess what is it if you want or mouseover the pictures to know which is what.