New Old Life!

Thinking about new old life :D and him...

I just finished cleaning up my stuff and the 3rd room which I have adopted as my own for the past 4 months.

From tomorrow on, I will be shifting back to the family's home. Somehow right now I feel hopeful and at the same time sad that I will leave this side of life and goes to the next. I cleaned up the family's home last friday - not to the most extreme cleanliness but acceptably clean. It was quite a hard work! I haven't managed to clean the fridge which I know will upset my sister when she comes back tomorrow. But at least, I managed to dust all three big fans so at least they be coming back to a faster running fans ~ cleaner breeze :D

My brother might not be able to come with me to pick my mom, sister and Tehah. Considering that they are flying at night, I am not so hot with the idea of finding my way to LCC on my own. I do believe that they will land there but I need to confirm again with my sister.

I really can't wait to see them. I miss my sister, my mom and tehah very much. Hard to believe but its true. On Sunday I might take them to my sis in law hometown to visit her and the new baby. And if things work out I will take them either to KLCC or Midvalley on Monday.

Somehow, I feel like I will miss my brother's house. My brother and sis in law been great. No such nightmare story like what my mom had to go through in her own chapter of life. I pretty much become a free loader here, but hey I still pay the bills over at the family home where my other brother still lives, pretty much free loading over free loading.

I really like it here. Away from the big clutter of life, not to mention Astro and wireless streamyx connection which always been great. I know I hardly update this blog while I'm here but heck that shows I was really having a ball that I don't feel like going online that much hehe.

I am trying to give out a happy mood about this last update before I head back home. But I can't deny that I do feel sad... I even said goodbye to my 'room'

And guess what, the object of my unrequited love (omul) is also on a long holiday next week. After that I will be on my core leave, which means I am will not be seeing him for 2 weeks! Somehow that managed to make me feel even sadder.

Moving back and not seeing him for 2 weeks do make me feel quite melancholic about the whole thing. Such timing!

Ok, so off the tangent, I am still feeling what I am feeling the past year towards him. *sigh* he need to get hitched for me to outgrow this very teenagerish feeling I'm having :P *sigh* I kept telling myself that whatever it is, its just a phase and it should not be taken seriously but dang after a while I still feel the same way towards him. These days I do think it is getting a bit frighteningly out of hand because I'm starting to feel jealous which is really stupid because he is such a public property!

And sometimes I do feel upset towards this certain someone who knows how I feel towards him. I dunno why but I feel that somehow she feels the same way I feel towards him so there is a silent competition or something going on...

Which is really stupid, I know :p Hopefully, my sister would want to listen to me rambling about this further so I can just get it out of my system :P

Now. Been great staying here. But as they put it home is where heart this, so that means wherever my family is. :D

It is going to be a LONG day tomorrow. I need to do maybe at least 2 trips to get my stuff into my car... haha my last work out! Maybe I'll need to get a thank you card and some cleaning agent over at Giant. I wanna do some more cleaning. Mainly the dishes that been sitting untouch for 4 months and the bath and toilet looks like need some lovin' too! Maybe I even cook! O_o haha don't get yer hope up.. plain ol' sardin, vege and telur dadar... hehe just in case they come home hungry tomorrow.

Its half past two now. I think I wanna watch some tv and let myself fall asleep on the sofa and try to wake up on time tomorrow :P

Tired

Yes, I know the images are not showing...

Tired.. I am just so mentally tired today. Work is, as usual : sucks. Sucks to the very core. Sucking my soul dry and clean. I don't know how long I can take to keep on doing this. Been doing it for over a year now. I wonder if I can hang on for another year.

Imagine waking up to another day knowing that you will be handling the same old shit that you hate. Well, actually more like same old shit that you are scared of. Yes, my job scares me. It scary when I need to make contact with the customers. Things go fine 70% of the time. The rest will lead to either a mental meltdown or a screaming rampage once you wrapped the call. And it could be due to being treated like a second grade human from 3rd world country or a punch bag where they let out their anger on you when the system let them down.

I prefer the punching bag bit. At least I can justify how they feel as I put myself in their shoes.

I can't really get the second grade human bit. Apparently because you are from the wrong side of the hemisphere seems to make you less... I don't know... human?

And usually this would make me most depressed about the shit I do. You would say that go to hell what they think but that is what exactly I already told myself but it still bugs me.

Since I feel like ranting I refused to analyze further about whatever perspective the situation involves. I want to be mad, upset, angry about it. Because when I want to try to 'justify' it, I will feel so bottled up, I could literally explode!

.....

....

...

..

.

:P

*sigh*

When I got really upset about work, I got deflated. Like a punctured tyre. Like what happened today :(